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controlledvariable) wrote2014-02-02 07:59 pm
controlledvariable) wrote2014-02-02 07:59 pm
exsilium; ic inbox
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text | audio | video
The who? No, you know what, I don't need to know.
[never mind that he already does.]
You might want to take the lead on that. I am not really in the mood to be asking anybody nicely, not even an Avenger.
[never mind that he already does.]
You might want to take the lead on that. I am not really in the mood to be asking anybody nicely, not even an Avenger.
( Once upon a time this would have been a long description of what she's going to be doing.
Then she realized she had to send this to a whole bunch of people, so she got lazy, and: )
Hey, I'm going to take up a missionary position in France! See you again in about a month. Hopefully the snow's not all gone by then! Keep warm, and keep all your important people safe, Steph. You can even tell Saul if you like!
( That was a thing. )
Then she realized she had to send this to a whole bunch of people, so she got lazy, and: )
Hey, I'm going to take up a missionary position in France! See you again in about a month. Hopefully the snow's not all gone by then! Keep warm, and keep all your important people safe, Steph. You can even tell Saul if you like!
( That was a thing. )
[Not sure if subtle dig or just Collette...
And she's also still not sure how she feels about Collette right now, but she appreciates the heads up.]
I hope it's not anything too dangerous. Take care of yourself, and Saul says be careful.
And she's also still not sure how she feels about Collette right now, but she appreciates the heads up.]
I hope it's not anything too dangerous. Take care of yourself, and Saul says be careful.
He'd just screw me over again.
[It's remarkable how consistently she uses "screw over" in the places where others would say "hurt." Almost like she's substituting the one phrase for the other.]
[It's remarkable how consistently she uses "screw over" in the places where others would say "hurt." Almost like she's substituting the one phrase for the other.]
It's what people do. They're shitty to each other and then they die. That's the entire course of human existence.
[She sure does remember the last conversation she had with Sonya about this topic.]
sometimes people are good to each other
sometimes people are good to each other
[Here, though, there's just a little bit more honesty from her.]
Yeah, well, I've never really experienced it. All I get, every day back home, is just people killing each other, hurting each other, destroying each other for money, for hatred, for boredom. And all I ever get is a lot of abuse for trying to do something about it. That's all I've ever gotten, ever since I was little. And here? It's just more of the same. Chatter about hanging high the people who just were trying to help us. And those few who have compassion for others just want to tear themselves to shreds.
Sometimes I wonder if the UE doesn't have the right of it.
Yeah, well, I've never really experienced it. All I get, every day back home, is just people killing each other, hurting each other, destroying each other for money, for hatred, for boredom. And all I ever get is a lot of abuse for trying to do something about it. That's all I've ever gotten, ever since I was little. And here? It's just more of the same. Chatter about hanging high the people who just were trying to help us. And those few who have compassion for others just want to tear themselves to shreds.
Sometimes I wonder if the UE doesn't have the right of it.
[Well.
That sure is a text.
There's a delay from Steph's end, because she just as no idea how to respond to that. She's pretty sure Sonya doesn't mean the thing about the UE, but the rest of it rings true enough.]
not everyone's like that. and i think you know it, otherwise you wouldn't be trying to help make things better.
people are shitty, but people can be wonderful, too. and you were right, you know, about having to cut people out sometimes. but as soon as you decide you're gonna do that every time, no matter what, you're gonna miss out on the people who'll be better. relationships are hard, including friendships. they're not gonna be perfect from the start and you fuck things up sometimes before figuring out how to be good for each other.
That sure is a text.
There's a delay from Steph's end, because she just as no idea how to respond to that. She's pretty sure Sonya doesn't mean the thing about the UE, but the rest of it rings true enough.]
not everyone's like that. and i think you know it, otherwise you wouldn't be trying to help make things better.
people are shitty, but people can be wonderful, too. and you were right, you know, about having to cut people out sometimes. but as soon as you decide you're gonna do that every time, no matter what, you're gonna miss out on the people who'll be better. relationships are hard, including friendships. they're not gonna be perfect from the start and you fuck things up sometimes before figuring out how to be good for each other.
[And there's a little bit of a delay on this end, too.]
I just don't know that, though. Are they? Wonderful? All I see, time and time again, is people trying to form themselves into their same brutal circles. When I got here, I really thought that things were going to be okay. I saw how things were so wide-open, and I thought, okay, just gotta be proactive, just gotta push, just gotta get things done, and then I can help push through a system I'm really proud of. Something without any shameful legacies, with no slavery, with no murder, no culling of giftless babies. And people seemed so wonderful when I got here, too - there was Ashraf, and he just seemed like a shining prince, and fuck, even Pinkman seemed like a revelation, someone genuinely kind and good. And the former turns out to be a cheating self-flagellating martyr and the latter tried to rape me when I tried to get him to put down the crackpipe.
I want to have faith in people. You're probably laughing derisively, I know, because I'm a shitty human being - and I am, I am a shitty person, I know that and I acknowledge it. But all I want to do, all I have ever wanted to do, is leverage a little bit of my shitty worthlessness into making life a little bit less awful for the people who deserve better.
But I can't. I can't do that. I don't know how. And you say they can be wonderful, and I've been told all my life they can be wonderful, but the only genuine kindness I've ever seen comes from kids. As soon as you grow up, you turn awful in one way or another.
I just don't know that, though. Are they? Wonderful? All I see, time and time again, is people trying to form themselves into their same brutal circles. When I got here, I really thought that things were going to be okay. I saw how things were so wide-open, and I thought, okay, just gotta be proactive, just gotta push, just gotta get things done, and then I can help push through a system I'm really proud of. Something without any shameful legacies, with no slavery, with no murder, no culling of giftless babies. And people seemed so wonderful when I got here, too - there was Ashraf, and he just seemed like a shining prince, and fuck, even Pinkman seemed like a revelation, someone genuinely kind and good. And the former turns out to be a cheating self-flagellating martyr and the latter tried to rape me when I tried to get him to put down the crackpipe.
I want to have faith in people. You're probably laughing derisively, I know, because I'm a shitty human being - and I am, I am a shitty person, I know that and I acknowledge it. But all I want to do, all I have ever wanted to do, is leverage a little bit of my shitty worthlessness into making life a little bit less awful for the people who deserve better.
But I can't. I can't do that. I don't know how. And you say they can be wonderful, and I've been told all my life they can be wonderful, but the only genuine kindness I've ever seen comes from kids. As soon as you grow up, you turn awful in one way or another.
It really shouldn't be. It's not even all that exciting! Anyway, thanks, and you guys both be careful too! Snow can be crazy!
that is what they say about missionary positions
[she couldn't help herself]
we will be. ahiru and dick are with us, too, do you want me to let them know you'll be away?
[she couldn't help herself]
we will be. ahiru and dick are with us, too, do you want me to let them know you'll be away?
Wait I thought those were more about the -- oh. Oh! Hahaha, no, oh my gosh I didn't -- Hahaha, yeah, if you like! I sent them both a message, but I know it's shorter notice than what I would have liked, and it's something that might get missed too easy. Thank you again!
might wanna rephrase it if you're telling anyone else
i'll let them know, and no problem. good luck, coll.
i'll let them know, and no problem. good luck, coll.
[When Steph wakes up on the morning of the fifteenth, there'll be a note waiting on the kitchen counter:
Steph and Saul- went to find yetis. lots of people with me, don't worry! going to make friends with them :) be back in a few days!
If Steph searches the house for her after finding the note, she'll already have left.]
Steph and Saul- went to find yetis. lots of people with me, don't worry! going to make friends with them :) be back in a few days!
If Steph searches the house for her after finding the note, she'll already have left.]
[She remembers telling him about the Lanterns, but she decides it's not important.]
i can manage asking nicely, i like tony
i can manage asking nicely, i like tony
Hey Stephanie If You Have Time I Was Just Wondering
My FriendAsuka Is Looking For A Job
So If You Know Of Any Places Looking For Workers That Would Be Really Helpful To Both Of Us
Thanks In Advance
My Friend
Asuka Is Looking For A JobSo If You Know Of Any Places Looking For Workers That Would Be Really Helpful To Both Of Us
Thanks In Advance
[something's wrong. something's been wrong, but peter's pretty used to the low-level ache of disharmony in his groin (this planet is dying, it's out of sync, it's wrong), and he ignored the twinges for two days. but when something in his gut throbs, twists, he lets out a little oof and glares at the ceiling, as though heaven cares that he finally got the message.
it's a walk, from the apartment he shares with isaac to the one steph shares with saul and company, but peter's finally got appropriate clothes, so it's not an unpleasant one. he drags it out a bit, smokes one of the crackly cloved cigarettes that the romani men he's fallen in with seem to favor. he misses good, straight up tobacco.
he doesn't really want to do this. he seems to be doing it anyway.
the knock on the door is somewhat muted by his gloves, but it's audible enough.]
it's a walk, from the apartment he shares with isaac to the one steph shares with saul and company, but peter's finally got appropriate clothes, so it's not an unpleasant one. he drags it out a bit, smokes one of the crackly cloved cigarettes that the romani men he's fallen in with seem to favor. he misses good, straight up tobacco.
he doesn't really want to do this. he seems to be doing it anyway.
the knock on the door is somewhat muted by his gloves, but it's audible enough.]
[Meditation has never really been Steph's strong point; she's not great at sitting still, and she's even less good at quietening her thoughts in the way that meditation requires. But Saul had suggested she try somethng to relax, before he went to see Mike, because he could tell how stressed she was, so she's spent the last half hour trying and failing to calm herself down.
The knock on the door is a welcome relief.
She pushes herself to her feet and checks the feed to the camera outside the door; once she's sure she recognizes the person there, she heads to the door and pulls it open.
Being on Earth has helped in some ways, she's putting weight back on and she's got a lot more color in her skin, but she can't seem to shake the exhaustion. It's gotten worse since Jesse died, even though it's only been two nighrs, so the smile she gives Peter upon opening the door is... well, she tries to manage something bright and warm, but it just doesn't work.]
Hey, is everything okay?
[Not that she minds him dropping by, she's just - on edge.]
The knock on the door is a welcome relief.
She pushes herself to her feet and checks the feed to the camera outside the door; once she's sure she recognizes the person there, she heads to the door and pulls it open.
Being on Earth has helped in some ways, she's putting weight back on and she's got a lot more color in her skin, but she can't seem to shake the exhaustion. It's gotten worse since Jesse died, even though it's only been two nighrs, so the smile she gives Peter upon opening the door is... well, she tries to manage something bright and warm, but it just doesn't work.]
Hey, is everything okay?
[Not that she minds him dropping by, she's just - on edge.]
the agriculture domes are pretty much always looking for people who'll help out with the basic farming stuff. there's snow shovelling and ice work which is pretty physically demanding but it doesn't require a lot of skill.
i dunno how much asuka knows about engineering, but working to maintain the powerlines is also an option.
does that help at all?
i dunno how much asuka knows about engineering, but working to maintain the powerlines is also an option.
does that help at all?
Oh Yes It Does
The Power Lines Sound Interesting
Shes Really Good With Science
Give Me A Moment To Forward This
The Power Lines Sound Interesting
Shes Really Good With Science
Give Me A Moment To Forward This
it's mostly underground so that's something to consider
i help with maintenance at the ag domes, too. so i could ask if they need any more help there.
i help with maintenance at the ag domes, too. so i could ask if they need any more help there.
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