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controlledvariable) wrote2014-02-02 07:59 pm
controlledvariable) wrote2014-02-02 07:59 pm
exsilium; ic inbox
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text | audio | video
warmer. less exposed to the elements.
[she easily could have worked with the power lines, but being underground would be too stifling.]
[she easily could have worked with the power lines, but being underground would be too stifling.]
[it's not until steph opens the door that peter realizes he really ought to have an excuse for being here beyond so apparently my swadisthana is tuned into you, and god i really hope that's part of this weapon deal... and he doesn't. so he shrugs and offers a wry smile.]
All quiet on the western front. Just hadn't heard from you in awhile and I was out walking anyway.
All quiet on the western front. Just hadn't heard from you in awhile and I was out walking anyway.
so rude. also i may have to wibblywobbly timeywimey on this depending how other things play out :|a
controlledvariable
2013-12-19 01:17 pm (UTC)(link)
[She's relieved that he's okay, and it shows in the way her posture eases and the fact her second attempt at a smile goes more smoothly.]
Am I gonna have to start texting you every couple of days just to make sure you don't worry?
[But she's stepping back and gesturing for him to come in, because even if things are a mess right now, that's no reason not to be polite.]
Am I gonna have to start texting you every couple of days just to make sure you don't worry?
[But she's stepping back and gesturing for him to come in, because even if things are a mess right now, that's no reason not to be polite.]
Only if you object to the occasional pleasure of my company. And that really makes me sound like your mom or something.
[which is to say, probably yes. he steps inside and takes off his hat and gloves, shoving them into the pocket of his jacket.]
Real question is, are you okay?
[which is to say, probably yes. he steps inside and takes off his hat and gloves, shoving them into the pocket of his jacket.]
Real question is, are you okay?
Definitely getting into mom territory, but it's kinda nice to know I'm not the only one.
[Again with the attempt at lightness that falls flat; there's something too tired in her tone, maybe even a little too bitter.
It's not-- she knows it's not Dick or Ahiru's fault, that neither of them asked for her to worry about them so much, but she can't seem to help feeling frustrated.]
I'm fine. [no she's not] You want a cup of tea or something warm?
[yes good diversion well done]
[Again with the attempt at lightness that falls flat; there's something too tired in her tone, maybe even a little too bitter.
It's not-- she knows it's not Dick or Ahiru's fault, that neither of them asked for her to worry about them so much, but she can't seem to help feeling frustrated.]
I'm fine. [no she's not] You want a cup of tea or something warm?
[yes good diversion well done]
Don't think I could manage long-term mom fussing. Too damn stressful.
Yeah, that'd be good.
[he'll just follow her into the kitchen or whatever and take up a lean against the counter.]
You're kind of a crap liar though, girl wonder.
Yeah, that'd be good.
[he'll just follow her into the kitchen or whatever and take up a lean against the counter.]
You're kind of a crap liar though, girl wonder.
[Too damn stressful hits too close to home that she can't even comment on it.]
Boots off, please.
[Just - yep.
She offers an apologetic smile, before heading into the kitchen, filling up the kettle and setting it to boil.
At the comment, she just sighs.]
I'm good at it sometimes.
[When she has the energy, or if it feels important enough to lie about, neither of which are happening right now.]
Jesse's gone home.
[There's a lie told well.]
Boots off, please.
[Just - yep.
She offers an apologetic smile, before heading into the kitchen, filling up the kettle and setting it to boil.
At the comment, she just sighs.]
I'm good at it sometimes.
[When she has the energy, or if it feels important enough to lie about, neither of which are happening right now.]
Jesse's gone home.
[There's a lie told well.]
[he makes an amused sound, but the boots come off. they even get lined up neatly by the door, because his mother would've thwapped him for just tossing his boots around someone else's entranceway. he's quiet for a moment after she delivers the news about jesse.]
Huh.
[that's something, but it doesn't quite add up. steph cares about jesse, he knows that, and jesse certainly cares (cared?) about steph. but jesse is also a dangerous liability and things had definitely not been going well for him lately. peter's not even sure what his own feelings are about jesse pinkman, who fed him and taught him to cook a bit, who gave him the power that saved isaac's life, and who is crazy and too powerful and basically impossible to control.]
Are things any better for him at home than they were here?
Huh.
[that's something, but it doesn't quite add up. steph cares about jesse, he knows that, and jesse certainly cares (cared?) about steph. but jesse is also a dangerous liability and things had definitely not been going well for him lately. peter's not even sure what his own feelings are about jesse pinkman, who fed him and taught him to cook a bit, who gave him the power that saved isaac's life, and who is crazy and too powerful and basically impossible to control.]
Are things any better for him at home than they were here?
Worse.
[Which would almost be funny, all things considered, if it wasn't so fucking depressing. Jesse's back in Walter's clutches back home, at least until he dies, and he's dead here anyway.
She wonders what he was thinking when he killed himself, if he was trying to punish them for what he seemed to think was betrayal, or if he just didn't want to be alive anymore.]
Saul is-- [She looks at Peter, then looks away, not sure how to finish that sentence. After the first round of tears, Saul has seemed okay, mostly, but all that does is make Steph worry he's burying it.
She shrugs.] Babs is gone, too. Someone from back home, so I'll see her again, I just - needed her.
[Which is so selfish, but it's true.]
[Which would almost be funny, all things considered, if it wasn't so fucking depressing. Jesse's back in Walter's clutches back home, at least until he dies, and he's dead here anyway.
She wonders what he was thinking when he killed himself, if he was trying to punish them for what he seemed to think was betrayal, or if he just didn't want to be alive anymore.]
Saul is-- [She looks at Peter, then looks away, not sure how to finish that sentence. After the first round of tears, Saul has seemed okay, mostly, but all that does is make Steph worry he's burying it.
She shrugs.] Babs is gone, too. Someone from back home, so I'll see her again, I just - needed her.
[Which is so selfish, but it's true.]
[peter just nods, because what do you say? on one hand, it really fucking sucks. on the other, he's back to the life he's supposed to be living, and certainly solves the problem of what to do about jesse.]
That's some shitty timing. Pretty sure it's all right to need people, y'know. Seems to be the moral of my past six months.
Come here.
[that's more of a question than an order.]
That's some shitty timing. Pretty sure it's all right to need people, y'know. Seems to be the moral of my past six months.
Come here.
[that's more of a question than an order.]
[She doesn't even hesitate, just closes the distance between herseld and Peter, winding her arms around his waist as she hides her face against the crook of his neck.]
I don't know how to do this.
[She's not really talking about Jesse or Babs.]
I don't know how to do this.
[She's not really talking about Jesse or Babs.]
[he wraps one arm around her, the other hand coming up to pet her hair. his face is cold but his neck is warm, and of course his aura is there as always, inviting calm without forcing it.]
Do which? You've kind of got a lot of thises.
Do which? You've kind of got a lot of thises.
treat 'em mean, something something condoning abuse
controlledvariable
2013-12-19 02:45 pm (UTC)(link)
I thought it'd be good, having Ahiru and Dick here where I can keep an eye on them and look after them, but all I do is worry. All the time.
[It's exhausting.]
[It's exhausting.]
[When Steph comes home on this fine evening she will find a vase of roses and daisies waiting for her. And if there's any question in her mind about who they're for or where they came from, there's a helpful little card attached in Saul's unmistakable handwriting:
Roses are red,
daisies are white,
and I should have thought this
through more clearly
or borrowed a line from that
book I gave you
because I obviously can't write poetry
but I hope you like
these flowers anyway.
I love you.]
Roses are red,
daisies are white,
and I should have thought this
through more clearly
or borrowed a line from that
book I gave you
because I obviously can't write poetry
but I hope you like
these flowers anyway.
I love you.]
[If the general sounds of Steph coming in through the door and taking off her boots aren't enough to alert Saul to her presence, the way she laughs at the "poem" really should.
She can't believe he got her flowers.
The stupid poem is easier to believe, but she sets the card down so she can lean in to smell the flowers, smiling to herself. This is ridiculous, but it's so sweet that she's not really sure what to do with it, especially in the wake of... everything else that's happened recently. She wasn't exactly expecting him to be in the sort of mood where getting her flowers occurs to him.
So she responds with the first thing that comes to mind:]
Don't quit your day job, McGill!
[His coat and boots are by the door, so obviously he's home, just hiding.]
She can't believe he got her flowers.
The stupid poem is easier to believe, but she sets the card down so she can lean in to smell the flowers, smiling to herself. This is ridiculous, but it's so sweet that she's not really sure what to do with it, especially in the wake of... everything else that's happened recently. She wasn't exactly expecting him to be in the sort of mood where getting her flowers occurs to him.
So she responds with the first thing that comes to mind:]
Don't quit your day job, McGill!
[His coat and boots are by the door, so obviously he's home, just hiding.]
Edited 2013-12-19 17:10 (UTC)
Would you worry less if they were somewhere else?
[he twists a strand of her hair around one finger. steph isn't really anything like letha, but sometimes she reminds peter of her anyway.]
You can be someone's mom or you can be their friend, but you can't be both. If you're gonna be mom, you let them do shit and fuck up and then yell and hug 'em because they're your kids and for some reason you decided to love 'em no matter what. If you're gonna be a friend, you let them do shit and fuck up and then you hang around while they sort their own shit out.
[he twists a strand of her hair around one finger. steph isn't really anything like letha, but sometimes she reminds peter of her anyway.]
You can be someone's mom or you can be their friend, but you can't be both. If you're gonna be mom, you let them do shit and fuck up and then yell and hug 'em because they're your kids and for some reason you decided to love 'em no matter what. If you're gonna be a friend, you let them do shit and fuck up and then you hang around while they sort their own shit out.
Edited 2013-12-20 05:13 (UTC)
[The gesture is appreciated, it's soothing, and she just sighs and hopes Saul doesn't decide to come home right now, because this doesn't exactly look good.]
I would, yeah. I mean - I'd still worry, but I wouldn't be constantly thinking about it like I do when they're not here.
[She wouldn't stay up until four am, lying awake until she hears Dick sneak back in.]
I don't wanna be anyone's mom, but I dunno how not to be.
I would, yeah. I mean - I'd still worry, but I wouldn't be constantly thinking about it like I do when they're not here.
[She wouldn't stay up until four am, lying awake until she hears Dick sneak back in.]
I don't wanna be anyone's mom, but I dunno how not to be.
[peter hums a soft sound.]
And it's not like they've got somewhere else to go.
[he sighs, tightens his arm around her back.]
Let them take their hits, Steph. You can love them and still let them take their hits. You should, even, because that's how we grow up. Doing right by somebody isn't wrapping them in cotton wool so they can't get banged up. You said Dick is older, at home, right? So whatever dumb shit he's doing, he comes out okay. I doubt Exsilium is more dangerous than a city that needs a whole army of vigilantes.
[peter hadn't thought about it until afterwards, how scared his mother must have been. there'd been too much of his own fear to worry about anybody else's.]
It's not your job to save everyone from everything, girl wonder.
And it's not like they've got somewhere else to go.
[he sighs, tightens his arm around her back.]
Let them take their hits, Steph. You can love them and still let them take their hits. You should, even, because that's how we grow up. Doing right by somebody isn't wrapping them in cotton wool so they can't get banged up. You said Dick is older, at home, right? So whatever dumb shit he's doing, he comes out okay. I doubt Exsilium is more dangerous than a city that needs a whole army of vigilantes.
[peter hadn't thought about it until afterwards, how scared his mother must have been. there'd been too much of his own fear to worry about anybody else's.]
It's not your job to save everyone from everything, girl wonder.
[Maybe they could both find somewhere else, but Steph wouldn't dream of asking them to leave, but she doesn't bother to say that, because she's sure Peter knows it already.]
Exsilium's so much worse than home. Least back there we had morals.
[At least they didn't wipe out millions of people, at least they don't have to kill civilians. She's terrified of Dick having to do the things she's done.]
I should be able to protect the people I love.
Exsilium's so much worse than home. Least back there we had morals.
[At least they didn't wipe out millions of people, at least they don't have to kill civilians. She's terrified of Dick having to do the things she's done.]
I should be able to protect the people I love.
[ella pls]
what are you nervous about this time? have you got somewhere to stay now you're down here?
i'm doing okay, starting to get setled down here
[that's - mostly true, she just doesn't feel like going into all the things that aren't okay.]
what are you nervous about this time? have you got somewhere to stay now you're down here?
i'm doing okay, starting to get setled down here
[that's - mostly true, she just doesn't feel like going into all the things that aren't okay.]
[Steph is home, and Saul's heart is in his throat. It's stupid, how nervous he feels — he knows she'll like the flowers, but the note might be a little (a lot) cheesy and what if she decides he's too lame or if this is too much or —
When she calls his name, he has to laugh, relaxing a little. And as soon as he releases the grip he's had on Mike for the past twenty minutes, she goes racing out the half-open bedroom door to go investigate (attack) those flowers again.
And Saul goes after her, not to stop her from doing it, but to find Steph and sweep her into his arms.]
Wasn't planning on it.
When she calls his name, he has to laugh, relaxing a little. And as soon as he releases the grip he's had on Mike for the past twenty minutes, she goes racing out the half-open bedroom door to go investigate (attack) those flowers again.
And Saul goes after her, not to stop her from doing it, but to find Steph and sweep her into his arms.]
Wasn't planning on it.
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