[And it's not that she doesn't think Ellie would be able to defend herself, but she knows that sometimes getting away isn't enough to undo it. Sonya fought Jesse off, but she's still been carrying that guilt and blaming herself for months. She still broke down in Steph's arms.
it's the only way I can get through it
She doesn't want that to happen to Ellie.]
It's different when it's a friend.
[She still hasn't looked back up.]