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[controlledvariable]

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[bumbles]

Sometimes you just have to talk. There's a difference between being a smartarse and getting help. I wasn't saying you have to bury it.

( Not that he's a giant hypocrite. )

Oh, no way. Stealing my schtick that makes me special? I'd have to think of a new gimmick.

( And if she could recognise Adonis, then that'd just... that couldn't possibly be okay. )

[controlledvariable]

no, i know. it just doesn't matter, it's fine.

[It was a dumb joke and she wishes she'd never made it.]

you don't need a gimmick.

[She's... trying to help? Be nice? Something.]

[bumbles]

Okay.

( he isn't going to argue with the girl who just made a joke about her own death oh my god. )

I'll bear that in mind.

( She doesn't know what she's talking about, this time. )

[controlledvariable]

try to

[Sometimes it's not easy.]

sorry. again.

[bumbles]

Don't beat yourself up about it. You don't have to apologise to me for anything. Got it?

I mean, if you hate kittens, maybe we'll have a problem. Do you hate kittens?

[controlledvariable]

beating myself up about things is what i do best

[More jokes that aren't really funny.]

but i promise i don't hate kittens.

[bumbles]

( Stephanie )

Are you just making yourself feel worse on principle, now?

( Atlas cares not for this. He gets it, but this is just hurting her. )

See? Kittens are great. Have you ever seen that video on Youtube with the kitten playing with the dobermann?

[controlledvariable]

i'm very stubborn

[Like... a lot.]

i think that one might be past my timeline. i miss youtube.

[Life is hard without stupid cat videos.]

[bumbles]

I'm more stubborn.

( SO THERE )

Oh my God. You've never heard Gangnam Style.

[controlledvariable]

no one's more stubborn than me.

[for reals tho.]

...

what the hell is gangam style?

[bumbles]

I don't see this getting resolved any time soon.

Kpop. There's a song and a dance and lot of remixes.

[controlledvariable]

does that mean you surrender?

i don't even know what kpop is

[Steph doesn't get out much.]

maybe they'd have it in the library archives?

[bumbles]

It means I hope you have good stamina.

Korean pop music. Ultra catchy. You get an extra achievement award if you can learn all the lyrics and pronounce them right.

We could go look.


Do we want to go look?

[controlledvariable]

oh you have no idea

[even if that's not what he was talking about she's just going to bring it back to innuendo]

well i've learned something new today

you're the expert, you tell me

[bumbles]

stop that

( stop corrupting his innocent mind, he knows what you are doing )

you'll either love it or hate it

and i don't want you to beat me up if you hate it

[controlledvariable]

stop what?

[She didn't do anything!]

i promise not to beat you up even if i hate it.

could i even beat you up?

[Because magic.]

WHAT THE FUCK I KNOW I FIXED THAT

[bumbles]

being a bad influence. think of the children.

( never mind that he is older than her. )

you're a true friend

a gentleman doesn't brag.

r u sure

[controlledvariable]

there aren't any children around, and being a bad influence is fun.

i know.

my suit is fireproof, for the record.

:C

[bumbles]

i am uncorruptible


that's nice.

( as if that's all his magic oh stephanie )

ilu

[controlledvariable]

challenge accepted

[Steph no.

Also wow r u d e]

am i gonna have to challenge you to a duel for the sake of my honor?

lies

[bumbles]

many have tried, none have succeeded

( That is a lie, no one has tried

though he does have some fans who flirt, but no way )

i don't want to hurt you

no it's the truest thing to ever true

[controlledvariable]

they weren't me.

[Not that she ever broke Tim out of the Boy Virgin thing, but still.]

you wouldn't.

[whether that's because she trusts him or because she's a smug jerk will remain a mystery.]

my heart can't take your fickleness

[bumbles]

maybe it's the source of my power

i wouldn't, but you might be mad

i am not fickle at all

[controlledvariable]

dude that would literally be the worst thing ever.

the first time i sparred with my best friend she beat me so hard i threw up. pretty sure you can't top that.

[okay so she mostly threw up because she pushed herself too hard, the point stands.]

of course not

[bumbles]

i think "powered by slugs" would be worse

( how have they gotten onto the topic of his sex life

and how does it seem like they just mutually acknowledged that he's a giant virgin this is so not okay )

i'm pretty sure i don't want to