It's not an excuse. You aren't responsible for what Asteria does, so it's not you that makes her life worse, unless you're hurting her in other ways, but from what you've told me it seems like she's the one hurting you.
[God, that's so alarming, but she's not even sure how to address that. She wants to tell him that he has friends here, but it feels meaningless when they both know eventually he'll have to go back to his own world.
Her frown deepens.]
Worrying's my job, and it goes double for friends.
( The corner of his mouth twinges painfully, and he looks away.
But I mean it, like she doesn't think he's stupid, as if all the things that he thought were so important were the things she looks down on. Family, even this thing with Max. He feels so tired of the knowledge that people like Atlas and not him hitting him in waves, and he's just bringing his hands to rest on the back of his head as he presses his face to his knees. )
( This is where it went wrong, when he let Stephanie hug him, and she felt everything that was roaring through him burn up through his skin. Those same waves of heat and cold are sweeping over him, more heat now, because fire is comforting and it's so hard to control when he feels like this. It's not hot enough to burn her, just to make him noticeably above human temperature, but he's nodding slowly. It can't get much worse than this, can it? He's already a write off. )
( She is good at hugs. He is glad for the hugs, even with how his body heat shudders and lurches.
For a long time, he just stays curled up, hopes Steph keeps holding on. Eventually, one of his hands slips away from his legs to grasp onto her shirt, at her shoulder, half-hugging her back. She's confusing, but he can't let go, and some part of him is desperately holding onto all the things she says. )
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controlledvariable) wrote2014-02-02 07:59 pm
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( Those both seem logical, to him, though he's not looking at Steph. )
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Did you tell Asteria to go after her?
[She's going somewhere with this.]
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D-don't-- don't make excuses. It doesn't stop her being hurt b-because of me.
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[She frowns, but it's sad more than anything.]
Don't lose yourself to guilt.
[It hurts too much.]
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( Very quiet, resting his cheek on his knee and hugging them closer to his chest. )
Don't w-worry.
( it's not guilt if he deserves it, right? )
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Her frown deepens.]
Worrying's my job, and it goes double for friends.
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You d-don't have t-to uh, to say that.
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But I mean it, like she doesn't think he's stupid, as if all the things that he thought were so important were the things she looks down on. Family, even this thing with Max. He feels so tired of the knowledge that people like Atlas and not him hitting him in waves, and he's just bringing his hands to rest on the back of his head as he presses his face to his knees. )
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Is it okay if I hug you?
[Because he seems really upset but he's also really drawn into himself, and she doesn't want to invade his personal space if he'd rather she didn't.
She just doesn't know what else to do.]
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You're a good guy, Donny. You deserve to be happy as much as anyone else does.
[And he really needs to stop beating himself up over things out of his control.]
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For a long time, he just stays curled up, hopes Steph keeps holding on. Eventually, one of his hands slips away from his legs to grasp onto her shirt, at her shoulder, half-hugging her back. She's confusing, but he can't let go, and some part of him is desperately holding onto all the things she says. )
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