controlledvariable | exsilium; ic inbox

[Yeah, he has no idea what to tell her, so he goes fishing in the air for something that might help. This is what he finds:]

I guess that depends on how many shoulders you need right now. Sure, things are chaotic, but I'm sure your friends would drop everything to... y'know, be there for you.

Edited 2013-09-24 05:30 (UTC)

[That's not a bad answer, even though she feels guilty for asking for help or shoulders to cry on.]

I don't think I'm ready to deal with it yet.

Okay. That's fair. Give yourself time, then.

Yeah.

[And then she's quiet again, not sure what else to say.

Except she does.]

Um. Is it okay if we don't-- [see each other for a while? but she can't actually say it.

Maybe he'll just understand.]

[He doesn't want to understand, but he does.

He doesn't want it to hurt, either, but —

It's for the best. Right? Right.]

Yeah. It's okay.

Thank you.

[a beat, and her voice sounds shaky again.]

And sorry, I just-- I love you, and I don't want to... make any decisions while I'm upset and all this is going on 'cause it's not fair to you or me and it's not--

[What? She takes a breath, rubbing at her eyes.]

It's not as real. [If she kisses him or lets him kiss her or does any other number of stupid things while she's such a mess, she might regret it, later, and she doesn't want that, not with Saul.] So I just need a little time.

Edited 2013-09-24 06:04 (UTC)

[Everything she just said hits him like — he doesn't know what, because for a moment, every thought is drowned out by the alarm bells ringing in his head. Decisions about what? What's not as real? Is she seriously...?

Panic wasn't really the anticipated response to any of this, but then again, none of this was anticipated.

He tries to pass off his silence as consideration and not the stunned worry that it is.]

Yeah, I get it. That makes sense. Don't worry about it, Steph. I love you, too, so — I'll wait.

[What's a little more waiting, now that she's not the only one who needs time?]

[It's strange how different I love you, too feels to everything else they've said. He's already told her, but that feels like something more, the acknowledgement of how they both feel.

The way she sighs is tired; there's too much going on for her to think about this.]

Thanks.

[She said it once, but it's all she can think to say again.]

When are you planning to leave?

Edited 2013-09-24 11:54 (UTC)

[It's the too that gets him.

His thoughts keep circling back to what he'd wondered the other day: What is this place doing to them? Him, especially. The threat of nuclear annihilation is nothing; he died once, almost died again, has been kidnapped...

People loving him, though, romantically or otherwise? That's terrifying.]

Sometime this weekend. I'm not gonna push it 'til Monday, but I need to stick around for a while.

Good.

[She says it without really thinking; she's just glad he's going sooner rather than later.

Nevermind that she's going to push it 'til Monday.]

Can you check on Collette for me once you're up there? I haven't told her about-- [Ellie] But she's still recovering from everything.

[So she's worried.]

Of course.

[He has a lot of people to check on. Collette was already on the list.]

I'm guessing you won't be there until the last possible second?

Probably not. [she sounds apologetic] But I'll be there, I promise. You don't have to worry about me.

[There's no plans to go do anything stupid.]

Yeah, I do.

[But he says it fondly.]

Nothing's gonna happen to me.

[Saul pls]

Probably not, but I'm gonna worry anyway.

Fine, but don't blame me when you end up with high blood pressure.

[All she wants to do is see him.]

Edited (put that h back where it came from or so help me) 2013-09-24 13:33 (UTC)

I had high blood pressure long before I met you, Brown. Don't flatter yourself.

[He's not really kidding.

thx walt]

Someone has to do it.

[Because clearly no one else flatters her. Ever.]

[Saul never has!

Ever!

He clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes.]

Something wrong?

[She doesn't know how she's doing this, just... joking around in the face of everything. But it's always been easier with Saul.]

Are you in need of some flattering? Because I can totally help with that.

[STEPH DON'T ACCEPT HIS HELP.]

Maybe later, I'm sure the Initiative doesn't want you wasting your time pandering to my ego.

[SOMETIMES SHE CAN MAKE SMART DECISIONS....]

[SOMETIMES.

But not often.]

Mm, good point. Later, then.

I'll hold you to that.

[not often at all.]

[So now's a good time to just abruptly hang up, right?]

I know.

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controlledvariable - 2013-09-25 01:12 (UTC) - Expand

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