[Her tone is still light, but it's more gentle than teasing, and she won't push this subject. She's assuming this girl of his is someone from home, because three weeks isn't long enough to warrant so many hickeys and an it's complicated.]
Not a lot of girls know this stuff, either. My mom taught me how to cover bruises.
[For all she joked about being good at hiding bruises and hickeys, there's no joke in what she says, there.]
( The meaning takes a second to register, but he seeks out her gaze instead of avoiding it, very gently touches her wrist. Not grasping, rather laying his hand against her skin, comfort and a question. His skin kicks up a couple of degrees. Selene. )
My s-sister knew.
( Rough, but she has to know he gets it. He understands, even if not exactly. He tries to, at least. )
[She offers him a smile, but it's soft and wry, apologetic.]
I'm sorry.
[For his sister, because it's never easy, and while she doesn't know exactly what happened, the fact it was only his sister, rather than him as well, makes her assume a partner, rather than a parent.]
( A shrug. What else do you do with that sentiment, other than let his hand slide away. There was no good saying it's okay, or all right or any variation like that. It wasn't. Even if it was, it wasn't his place to say that, only Selene could, and Selene still seemed determined not to acknowledge him, some days. )
Me t-too.
( There's a few moments of Donny just fiddling with his hands, taking particular care not to look at Stephanie. It seemed to confronting, when someone was so close. The brief interval of looking at her had been enough. )
[She's quiet for a moment, touching his cheek to turn his head, applying concealer to the other side of his throat. It's not that shes ever made a particular secret of it, in part because she never could, at home, when everyone knew about the Cluemaster, but that still doesn't make it easy to talk about.]
[The way her fingers twitch against his throat is probably answer enough, and she pulls her hands away, takes her time putting the lid back on the concealer and setting it back on the table.]
I don't know.
[quiet, a little pained, and she looks at him briefly, brow furrowed, before turning her gaze away.]
My dad was-- We thought he was dead, but now he's back, and he should be in jail, but I was brought here before I could make sure of it.
[There's something strained in her posture, even when she shrugs. Because it's more than that, too; she's worried what her father being back might mean for her mom's addiction, but she doesn't know how to articulate that to someone, or if she even wants to try.]
Donny spares her his gaze, and he honestly has no idea what to do, save for being a compliant subject. )
That sounds c-- c-complicated.
( To say the very, very least. Very-- very tentatively, he reaches for her hand, wraps it up in his own. Loose, and gentle, and his thumb tracks over her knuckles before he squeezes it and lets her go. Too much contact is hard for him, and you never know how someone will deal. )
( Certain, absolute. ) And we c-can, we c-can fix things.
( He has to sound certain to convince himself, because if he can't believe that, he'll fall apart. )
Family makes it-- m-makes it worse. B-but-- ( But we can do it, he wants to say, even if he is struggling with the words. He just looks at her in earnest, instead. )
[Whether that reassurance is for herself or him, even she isn't sure, but she at least has to hope that even by accident, she'll end up back home. They'll get home, they'll fix things, everything will be fine.
But as for family:]
Family's what you make it. Blood doesn't mean shit.
[For all that she says it with conviction, it annoys her that other people won't believe it, that too many people look at her, and see her father.
( Ouch. Ouch. Family is complicated, and he gets that it's complicated for her too, but he almost winces with that, lapsing into silence.
Finally, he ventures, very very cautiously and even more quietly, ) You're angry.
( And he's not sure if it's something he said, or just what they were talking about, but it's set him on edge. A little-- a little less skittish: ) B-blood's important.
( His sisters are important, and his parents, he's known it, even if he's spent most of his life terrified of them. They're his family. Even if they think he's useless, they're all he has, aside from Max. And he doesn't have her. He's... they're not anything. )
[There's a moment where she nearly says no shit, but she's not angry at Donny, and it's not really fair to be a dick to him, just 'cause he happened to touch on a sore subject. She doesn't like thinking about her dad.]
I'm guessing you don't know what it's like to be raised by a criminal, to have blood mean that people don't trust you, 'cause they think you're gonna turn out like your parents, a crook or a junkie. I don't want that blood.
[For all that momentary anger, that sharpness, now she just sounds kind of tired.]
I-- [She sighs, closes her mouth, focusing on the table, rather than Donny.
I don't want that blood for my daughter, either.]
i just realised he said his sisters' names earlier in this thread RETCON BC BELLA DUMBED
( A long, long silence. No, he doesn't know what that's like. He doesn't know what it's like to have your family name hang over you. He does know what it's like to hate your family, sometimes, and to feel ashamed and pick himself to pieces for it, but that's not quite the same. He knows what it is to be a disappointment, and a shame to the family, because he's not what anyone wanted. That's not the same thing, either. )
Asteria.
( He said the name to her once before, on the rooftop the first time they met. ) Nyx, M-Morpheus, Hypnos.
( Remember, Bat? Remember how you dismissed it? He does. That Asteria hadn't sounded dangerous, to her. ) She's my sister.
( I don't want that blood. Very softly, because he feels like he should go, now. ) S-sometimes, the secrets are worse.
It's written all over her face, that regret and sudden understanding and guilt, because way to go, Brown. There's a reason she doesn't have many friends, and it's because she tends to let her anger get the better of her, making her say stupid shit like this.]
I'm sorry.
[For... everything, really. Both her own actions, words, and she's sorry for how shitty that situation must inevitably be.]
I don't think blood should define us.
[That's what she meant, it's what she was trying to say, but got too caught up in her own anger and - selfishness to put it properly.]
I THOUGHT HE DID i may have... just thought about using their names and forgotten fuck idek anymore
B-blood-- ( Blood is what gave him his magic, wasn't it? Meant to be in the blood. Meant to be carried, or genetic, or maybe it was just the vitality of blood itself that carried magic, he had no idea. He grits his teeth, struggles to make his tongue work with his voice, with how to form the words.) B-blood is all I h-have.
( And his blood doesn't even want him. But it's all he has. There was his blood, and there was Max. His love for Max might be enduring, but that didn't mean she'd have a use for him, always. At least his blood would still be his blood, even if they wished he wasn't. Something unhappy twists his mouth. I don't want that blood. Yeah. He imagined his sisters felt the same way.
He shakes his head, pushes back his chair, but can't quite go even if he's standing, because she's his friend. And he's not ever really had those. )
[Apparently she just shouldn't be allowed to say things to Donny, considering how thoroughly she manages to keep making an ass of herself.
For a moment she's quiet, expression somewhere between wrought and apologetic, as she tries to work out how to explain or apologize or something, since she likes Atlas, thinks Donny could use a friend, and doesn't want to leave this on a sour note.]
Wait. [As he stands, and she reaches out her hand to lay on the table closer to him, not actually making contact, but the gesture is clear enough. Stay. More quietly:] I wasn't being fair.
[She looks up at him, then away, sinking into her chair a little.]
My daughter won't have any of that; the only family she'll know is the one who took her in, and that's-- I know it's so much better, for her, because she doesn't want the same blood I've got, because she's better off growing up without knowing what her mother, her grandparents are like.
[She can't imagine telling her daughter that she was the one who started the gang war.]
But that's not... It's not the same for everyone. I wasn't thinking.
[She was just thinking about herself, her own circumstances, instead of how it might be for someone else.]
( He's conflicted, but he sits back down, watching her from behind his hair, dragging his fingers through it so it falls over his face against and not bothering to fix it. And then she's talking, and she's got a daughter, and he doesn't know how to feel or what to think. He's not a parent, he doesn't know, but he remembers some of the girls from the shelter and the clinic and how scared they were. How tough, some of them, strong, but that didn't keep them from being scared. His mind catches, there, and he opens his mouth to try and offer anything.
There's nothing.
Painfully, he swallows air, an awkward click in his throat. Hollow, slapping sound, and he still doesn't have ay words. Typical, Adonis. At least he can shake his head, don't be sorry, please don't be sorry. )
I'm-- s-sorry.
( Falling woefully short, and yet it's the truth of it. Anything else would probably be patronising. He's sorry for getting mad, and he's sorry that she hurts, and that she feels like that about herself and her own family, and that she doesn't know her daughter, and that she had to make that decision. He's just sorry.
Silence, before he it just-- )
She's m-my-- she's my b-big sister.
( A little desperate. She's his sister. He idolised her, even when he was scared of her, and it feels like whatever tentative foundation did exist in his life was ripped away with finding out who - what - she was. )
[She curls her knees up to her chest, warms wrapped around them, looking exactly as guilty as she feels, wishing she was better at talking to people.]
Don't.
[Don't apologize, not when she's the one who spoke without thinking and upset him, and she feels even guiltier once he has apologized, because she feels like he should still be mad at her.
What he sas next... she doesn't know what to say to that, not when she's already fucked up really badly and just wants to help, now. What does he want her to say? She doesn't know, can tell he's sad and desperate but isn't sure what kind of reassurance he might need or want. In the ed, she just looks at him, making a I don't know what to do sort of gesture in the way her hands lift from around her knees.]
( Do this. To have these conversations, to have someone apologise to him.
Max told him that she was dangerous and he should be careful, Morgana called him wise and a fool, his sisters called him useless, idiot. He feels so raw all the time, and this feels like exposed nerves, but with Max he's trying to try the honesty out of her and make her see she isn't a monster, and she knows he's... she sees him. She was the first one to see him.
Stephanie doesn't see. No one did, really, except for Max, but now Stephanie is apologising, and he can't handle that. )
Atlas is b-better at this.
( At people, and he shrugs, makes a move for the door. )
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
controlledvariable) wrote2014-02-02 07:59 pm
no subject
[Her tone is still light, but it's more gentle than teasing, and she won't push this subject. She's assuming this girl of his is someone from home, because three weeks isn't long enough to warrant so many hickeys and an it's complicated.]
Not a lot of girls know this stuff, either. My mom taught me how to cover bruises.
[For all she joked about being good at hiding bruises and hickeys, there's no joke in what she says, there.]
no subject
My s-sister knew.
( Rough, but she has to know he gets it. He understands, even if not exactly. He tries to, at least. )
no subject
I'm sorry.
[For his sister, because it's never easy, and while she doesn't know exactly what happened, the fact it was only his sister, rather than him as well, makes her assume a partner, rather than a parent.]
no subject
Me t-too.
( There's a few moments of Donny just fiddling with his hands, taking particular care not to look at Stephanie. It seemed to confronting, when someone was so close. The brief interval of looking at her had been enough. )
no subject
Is she safe now?
[That might be too personal, but she has to ask.]
no subject
F-from him.
( His jaw is tense, but somehow he keeps his voice from sounding as strained as it probably should. )
I'm w-working on the, uh. Other stuff.
( A beat. ) Is she? ( Steph's mother. )
no subject
I don't know.
[quiet, a little pained, and she looks at him briefly, brow furrowed, before turning her gaze away.]
My dad was-- We thought he was dead, but now he's back, and he should be in jail, but I was brought here before I could make sure of it.
[There's something strained in her posture, even when she shrugs. Because it's more than that, too; she's worried what her father being back might mean for her mom's addiction, but she doesn't know how to articulate that to someone, or if she even wants to try.]
no subject
Donny spares her his gaze, and he honestly has no idea what to do, save for being a compliant subject. )
That sounds c-- c-complicated.
( To say the very, very least. Very-- very tentatively, he reaches for her hand, wraps it up in his own. Loose, and gentle, and his thumb tracks over her knuckles before he squeezes it and lets her go. Too much contact is hard for him, and you never know how someone will deal. )
She'll be okay.
no subject
Well, my best friend has heat vision, so I'm counting on her to take care of things if he tries to mess with anyone.
[Joking, though her voice is still a little strained.]
no subject
( Certain, absolute. ) And we c-can, we c-can fix things.
( He has to sound certain to convince himself, because if he can't believe that, he'll fall apart. )
Family makes it-- m-makes it worse. B-but-- ( But we can do it, he wants to say, even if he is struggling with the words. He just looks at her in earnest, instead. )
no subject
[Whether that reassurance is for herself or him, even she isn't sure, but she at least has to hope that even by accident, she'll end up back home. They'll get home, they'll fix things, everything will be fine.
But as for family:]
Family's what you make it. Blood doesn't mean shit.
[For all that she says it with conviction, it annoys her that other people won't believe it, that too many people look at her, and see her father.
That sometimes she does the same.]
no subject
Finally, he ventures, very very cautiously and even more quietly, ) You're angry.
( And he's not sure if it's something he said, or just what they were talking about, but it's set him on edge. A little-- a little less skittish: ) B-blood's important.
( His sisters are important, and his parents, he's known it, even if he's spent most of his life terrified of them. They're his family. Even if they think he's useless, they're all he has, aside from Max. And he doesn't have her. He's... they're not anything. )
no subject
I'm guessing you don't know what it's like to be raised by a criminal, to have blood mean that people don't trust you, 'cause they think you're gonna turn out like your parents, a crook or a junkie. I don't want that blood.
[For all that momentary anger, that sharpness, now she just sounds kind of tired.]
I-- [She sighs, closes her mouth, focusing on the table, rather than Donny.
I don't want that blood for my daughter, either.]
i just realised he said his sisters' names earlier in this thread RETCON BC BELLA DUMBED
Asteria.
( He said the name to her once before, on the rooftop the first time they met. ) Nyx, M-Morpheus, Hypnos.
( Remember, Bat? Remember how you dismissed it? He does. That Asteria hadn't sounded dangerous, to her. ) She's my sister.
( I don't want that blood. Very softly, because he feels like he should go, now. ) S-sometimes, the secrets are worse.
wait he did???
It's written all over her face, that regret and sudden understanding and guilt, because way to go, Brown. There's a reason she doesn't have many friends, and it's because she tends to let her anger get the better of her, making her say stupid shit like this.]
I'm sorry.
[For... everything, really. Both her own actions, words, and she's sorry for how shitty that situation must inevitably be.]
I don't think blood should define us.
[That's what she meant, it's what she was trying to say, but got too caught up in her own anger and - selfishness to put it properly.]
I THOUGHT HE DID i may have... just thought about using their names and forgotten fuck idek anymore
( And his blood doesn't even want him. But it's all he has. There was his blood, and there was Max. His love for Max might be enduring, but that didn't mean she'd have a use for him, always. At least his blood would still be his blood, even if they wished he wasn't. Something unhappy twists his mouth. I don't want that blood. Yeah. He imagined his sisters felt the same way.
He shakes his head, pushes back his chair, but can't quite go even if he's standing, because she's his friend. And he's not ever really had those. )
it's okay i'll just play along
For a moment she's quiet, expression somewhere between wrought and apologetic, as she tries to work out how to explain or apologize or something, since she likes Atlas, thinks Donny could use a friend, and doesn't want to leave this on a sour note.]
Wait. [As he stands, and she reaches out her hand to lay on the table closer to him, not actually making contact, but the gesture is clear enough. Stay. More quietly:] I wasn't being fair.
[She looks up at him, then away, sinking into her chair a little.]
My daughter won't have any of that; the only family she'll know is the one who took her in, and that's-- I know it's so much better, for her, because she doesn't want the same blood I've got, because she's better off growing up without knowing what her mother, her grandparents are like.
[She can't imagine telling her daughter that she was the one who started the gang war.]
But that's not... It's not the same for everyone. I wasn't thinking.
[She was just thinking about herself, her own circumstances, instead of how it might be for someone else.]
I'm sorry.
bro 4 lyfe
There's nothing.
Painfully, he swallows air, an awkward click in his throat. Hollow, slapping sound, and he still doesn't have ay words. Typical, Adonis. At least he can shake his head, don't be sorry, please don't be sorry. )
I'm-- s-sorry.
( Falling woefully short, and yet it's the truth of it. Anything else would probably be patronising. He's sorry for getting mad, and he's sorry that she hurts, and that she feels like that about herself and her own family, and that she doesn't know her daughter, and that she had to make that decision. He's just sorry.
Silence, before he it just-- )
She's m-my-- she's my b-big sister.
( A little desperate. She's his sister. He idolised her, even when he was scared of her, and it feels like whatever tentative foundation did exist in his life was ripped away with finding out who - what - she was. )
no subject
Don't.
[Don't apologize, not when she's the one who spoke without thinking and upset him, and she feels even guiltier once he has apologized, because she feels like he should still be mad at her.
What he sas next... she doesn't know what to say to that, not when she's already fucked up really badly and just wants to help, now. What does he want her to say? She doesn't know, can tell he's sad and desperate but isn't sure what kind of reassurance he might need or want. In the ed, she just looks at him, making a I don't know what to do sort of gesture in the way her hands lift from around her knees.]
no subject
( Do this. To have these conversations, to have someone apologise to him.
Max told him that she was dangerous and he should be careful, Morgana called him wise and a fool, his sisters called him useless, idiot. He feels so raw all the time, and this feels like exposed nerves, but with Max he's trying to try the honesty out of her and make her see she isn't a monster, and she knows he's... she sees him. She was the first one to see him.
Stephanie doesn't see. No one did, really, except for Max, but now Stephanie is apologising, and he can't handle that. )
Atlas is b-better at this.
( At people, and he shrugs, makes a move for the door. )