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text;

[5055034455]

stephanie pls

text;

[controlledvariable]

what

[is she playing dumb or does she not get the meme reference?

we'll never know.]

text;

[5055034455]

I'll stick with my long-range gun and capeless existence, ty.

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[controlledvariable]

if you insist, but you're totally missing out.

chicks dig the cape.

[Casually quoting her ex boyfriend nbd]

text;

[5055034455]

Dammit, Jim! I'm a lawyer, not a superhero!

text; gosh saul those are her roommates stop making fun!

[controlledvariable]

why not be both!

text; nope too much fun

[5055034455]

We've been over this already. Not superhero material.

text; r u d e

[controlledvariable]

that's what people said about me

[welp]

text; shrugs!!

[5055034455]

[w h y]

You just wanna see me in a cape, don't you?

text; he's banned from their apartment

[controlledvariable]

oh no you've figured out my cunning plan!!!

[Steph what are you.]

text; probably for the best tbh

[5055034455]

Mwahahaha?

[And now it's time for Saul to side-eye his tablet like HOW IS THIS CONVERSATION EVEN STILL A THING...]

text; i can't imagine jim and saul getting along

[controlledvariable]

that was a terrible evil laugh.

hey maybe you could be a supervillain though, they wear capes.

text; plot twist: they become bffs

[5055034455]

What happened to not being the bad guy?

text; n...o...

[controlledvariable]

it's possible to be a supervillain without being the bad guy

[Selina. Jason. Ivy (sort of).]

text; YOU NEVER KNOW...!

[5055034455]

That statement makes no sense to me. What's a supervillain without the "villain" component?

text; steph would cry

[controlledvariable]

there's a fine line between supervillain and 'antihero' sometimes.

text; no it okay

[5055034455]

If I'm gonna be a supervillain, it's go big or go home. None of this ambiguous antihero stuff — I'm talking world domination. Minions and all.

text; it will never be okay again

[controlledvariable]

minions are really unreliable. like henchmen. dad used to complain about them all the time.

text; /pets with broom

[5055034455]

I had henchmen. If minions are anything like those guys, nevermind. Count me out.

text; thx

[controlledvariable]

well they're pretty much the same when you're punching them in the face

[which is mostly what she does]

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[5055034455]

I wouldn't know.

Anyway, gonna drop off the stuff in a few. If you can't resist throwing in a cape, you better not charge me.

[oh noooo talking about his henchmen is making him miss them

missing all 400 pounds of huell and every precious ginger lock on kuby's head

sigh]

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[controlledvariable]

that's because you're boring.

okay. and i promise not to include a cape or anything even remotely resembling a cape.