controlledvariable | exsilium; ic inbox

That might depend on whether they've gotten used to the concept of the multiverse. If someone said that to me, I'd just think it was another me, you know? One from a different universe, which is... weird to think about, but so's a lot of stuff we deal with.

[She wonders who Ahiru is talking about exactly, but she won't ask. If Ahiru wants to tell her, she will.]

I'm not sure if there's ever going to be a right choice in situations like this. [and she's not sure she can give any advice that'll make it better, but she can at least be here to help Ahiru talk it through.] Do you think you could convince them they don't need to feel obligated? Not straight away, but if you find ways to show them you're not expecting anything of them...

I don't think he has. At least, I don't think anybody has told him yet... But we haven't talked that much here. I mean, he's not very outgoing, and I thought he'd think it'd be weird if I talk to him all the time here while he doesn't know me very well at all.

I guess that's true... I mean, for a while this has seemed better, but maybe that's because it seems less permanent than the other option. I mean, I can tell him any time, but once I tell him, I can't take it back. But I just want to do what's best for him.

[She pauses.]

I don't know. I mean, he's the kind of person to try and make people happy even when he doesn't owe them anything. What kind of ways do you mean, though? I hadn't really thought about it.

Hey.

[Now she reaches out, taking one of Ahiru's hands in both of hers, running her thumb idly over Ahiru's knuckles.]

You've gotta do what's good for you, too. The version of him that you knew, I'm sure he'd want you to think about yourself, too.

[It's sort of hypocritical advice, but that doesn't make it bad advice; Steph's just sometimes not good at following it herself.

And she'll address the rest of it in a second, she just wants to get that across first.]

[She shakes her head.]

That's nice of you to say, and he would, but... I mean, either option isn't about changing things for me. Even if I told him, he still wouldn't remember or know me better than he does, so it's more about what's doing right for him. That's okay with me, though, so don't worry about it!

But it would change things, wouldn't it? It's pretty clear this is something that's weighing on you, and there's a risk in whatever you do, that you could lose the chance to have a friendship with him the second time around.

[She doesn't like bringing up that possibility, but it's not something that can be sugarcoated.]

So you're allowed to think about yourself, too.

Mm.

[The noise is thoughtful, and it's a moment before she speaks.]

I don't know. I mean, we were - more than friends, but not in the way that sounds. No matter what, we won't get what we had back. So for me, it's more important to do what's fair for him. That's what's going to make me happiest, too, knowing I didn't mess things up if he leaves.

[And that makes sense, even if she'd rather Ahiru be happy than some stranger she doesn't know, but that's kind of selfish and she knows it.]

I can get that. [She gives Ahiru's hands a gentle squeeze, then lets go.] If he's a good person, I hope he'd understand if you told him that he knew him. Do you think you'd feel better with the truth told, instead of feeling like you have to keep a secret from him?

I don't know... I think it depends how he would react. I mean, I'd hope he wouldn't freak out, but it's kind of a lot to spring on somebody, you know?

Maybe try breaking him into the idea of it slowly. Have you told him that you've been to another world before this one?

No, I haven't. We don't really talk that much.

Well, start by talking to him. You don't have to make a decision just yet, but if you get a feel for how he might handle the whole alternate universes deal, it'll be easier to decide what you wanna do.

Yeah, but how do I... I mean, if I bring that up out of nowhere, he'll think it's weird, won't he?

[A pause.]

And this is assuming I could even get the nerve to tell him if I thought it was the best thing.

You'd be surprised what can come up in conversation; you don't have to push it, but just remember if there's a chance, you should mention it.

[At the rest of wat Ahiru says, Steph smiles warmly.]

You're one of the bravest people I've met, duckling, I'm sure you'd do fine.

Okay, I'll remember that. Um... Thank you for listening, Steph.

[And most nights, she'd just smile and thank her for the second comment, but something makes her pause. When she speaks, it's curious, not self deprecating.]

Why do you think that?

No problem, I hope it helped a little.

[Even if she didn't have the perfect advice, she hopes that being a sounding board was helpful at least.]

Because you always believe the best in people, and you always have so much hope. That takes courage, especially when you've been through a lot.

It did. Really.

[Even if she doesn't know what she'll do, it was nice to have somebody listen.

She doesn't quite laugh at what Steph has, but she does smile, making a small noise of amusement.]

If I said I haven't really been through a lot, would you believe me?

Probably not. I don't know what the other world you were in was like, but if it was anything like Exsilium, it can't have been easy.

Well, it was pretty much completely different, if that helps. [A light laugh.]

Was it a good place?

[Most of the places like Exsilium don't seem to be.]

I think there are good things and bad things about every place... I'm happy I was there, though. It was tough, but I met a lot of really great people, and I think it made me a stronger person, too.

[A smile.]

You know, I don't think you've ever told me what your world is like!

[She's always kind of amazed at how emotionally healthy Ahiru sseems to be.]

Sounds a lot like Exsilium, then. [but she smiles in return] And if that's a diversion tactic, I want it on record that I totally noticed it, but I'll tell you about my world if you really want.

[r u sure that's what you want, ahiru]

Sort of, I guess!

[She shakes her head, smiling.]

I'm not diverting anything, I'm just curious!

[She gives Ahiru an I know your tricks sort of look, but it's probably ruined by her smile.]

My world's pretty interesting, I guess. I mean, at least compared to the history of this world, we have aliens and magic and metahumans, which are people with superpowers. It keeps us pretty busy, 'cause sometimes it's the bad guys who've got the fancy powers, or there's aliens that wanna invade, which is why we've got superheroes to help keep the world safe.

[She's thinking of the Justice League and Teen Titans, rather than the vigilantes in Gotham, since they're a little more small scale, generally.]

One of my best friends is an alien, and the last boy I kissed back home was a witch, I've fought alongside a girl who's got metal skin, and fought a man made of clay who can turn into copies of people. So...

[So. shit's weird, basically.]

[A pause, and in the end there's one thing she takes away from that:]

Wait, wouldn't he be a wizard instead of a witch?

That's what he called himself. [she shrugs] He was also blue, so....

[you know]

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