controlledvariable | exsilium; ic inbox

Oh, was that when the UE sent the virus or whatever?

This was back at home, just before I got here. Kara and me were working together against a supervillain.

[That supervillain being her dad, but she won't mention that.]

Oh! I got it. Did you beat him or her?

If all went to plan, then he should be in jail. I didn't have a chance to double check before the Initiative decided to bring me here.

Good!

[She almost says that she hopes Steph gets to find out soon, but realizes she doesn't know as of this moment whether she really wants to go home, and so she lets it go.]

And you were safe in the hospital and everything?

Yup, my mom was keeping an eye on me, which was kind of awkward since she hadn't known about the whole Batgirl thing, but luckily she wasn't mad.

[what a good mom]

Even though it was dangerous?

[Steph shrugs.]

She worries, but she knows that it's what I need to be doing, and she trusts me to stay safe.

[There's a pause; she still feels weird saying this when so much is different now, but she doubts Steph will pick up on the significance of it. There's a small laugh.]

My father would've just about killed me if he found out I was doing something like that!

[And Steph, apparently, finds that so hilarious she can't talk, since she's too busy covering her mouth with a hand in the interest of not waking up the rest of the houeshold.

One moment, please.]

[She pauses, confused, and then starts to awkwardly laugh along even though she has no idea what happened.]

Um, did I say something?

Sorry, sorry.

[Okay she's good. Maybe.]

My dad's a supervillain, so. I can understand that.

[He nearly threw acid in her face.

Good times with the Brown family.]

[Behind the concern that immediately comes, there's respect for how easily Steph can admit things like that. She knows if it were her, she'd be terrified to tell anybody something like that, even close friends.

Still, there's worry in her voice when she speaks.]

W-What happened? I mean, um, unless it's too personal, and then you can tell me, like, don't ask stuff like that!

[She still finds this kind of funny, but she can hear the concern, so she waves a hand to dismiss it.]

Well he doesn't approve of my career choice, that's for sure.

[Maybe one day she'll stop using humour as a defense mechanism, but it's not happening any time soon.]

[The worry lingers even after the attempt at humor.]

T-That's not funny! Is he... I mean, did you, are you okay? I mean, did he ever hurt you? What did he do? What about your mother?

[Oh, duckling. Steph didn't mean to make her worry, she does really think it's funny, just like her and Cass thought it was hilarious when they compared their dads.]

Hey.

[Steph catches Ahiru's hands in her own, giving them a light squeeze as she tries to catch her gaze and offer a reassuring smile.]

He's a loser who's in prison where he belongs, I'm fine. He wasn't a very good supervillain.

[That does steady her, at least, and she takes a breath.]

Okay. Still, I'm sorry you had a father like that. It doesn't sound easy.

Life's not easy, it could've been worse.

[Speaking of Cass..

But more importantly:]

Don't think I didn't miss you mentioning your father.

[And she has a feeling Ahiru didn't mean her duck dad.]

It's okay to be upset about it, you know?

[She looks down, considering carefully before she speaks. When she does, it's as casual as she can make it; if humor is Steph's defense mechanism, hers is pretending things like this don't really bother her.]

Well, we met in the last world I was in, and we were both there for a long time, enough to get pretty close. Close enough for adoption and stuff. I'd never had a family before, so it was pretty nice.

I know, doesn't mean I want to be.

[There's a reason she keeps throwing herself at the world with a smile and a laugh, and it's not because she thinks the world is good. It's because she refuses to let the bad stuff win.

That's not really important, though, and while Ahiru might try to pretend it doesn't bother her, Steph knows that must have hurt.]

I'm sorry, duckling.

As long as you're sure.

[She shakes her head, brushing a stray strand of hair out of her face absentmindedly.]

No, it's fine. I mean, people left that place all the time just like they do here, but we were both lucky. We got to stay long enough to say goodbye to each other, so it wasn't like it was unexpected or anything. Besides, I kind of think about it like... I mean, when people leave, I try to think of it like...

[She pauses, trying to think of how to best phrase this.]

Getting to meet so many new people who I care about in both of these worlds has been a gift. And, you know, if the price of that is losing them eventually, then... Even if it hurts, that's something I'm willing to pay. Besides, it's not so much a price when you think about how most of them are much happier back home. I mean, he didn't talk about it much, but I knew how much that place was hurting him.

[All of that, somehow, is completely sincere and honest. Well, for the most part — she doesn't include the fact that he's here now. That's something that's still too close to her heart for her to share.

A shrug.]

By that point, though, I'd been there for around two and a half years, I think? So, I don't want to say I'd gotten used to people leaving, but... I guess you learn to accept it after a while. So it's alright.

[She listens, trying to work out how much of that is true and how much is Ahiru trying to seem more okay than she is.

Steph really hopes that it's true, and that Ahiru isn't too hurt by everything that she's been through, but just in case...]

You know it's okay if you're not alright with it? This situation isn't easy, and you're allowed to be upset or angry or think it's unfair.

[She pauses, thinking that over.]

Well, it's like... I can't change that people leave, and I don't want to change that I'll miss them. But I control how I deal with losing them and missing them, you know? I can either mope around about it or use it to try and remember how lucky I am.

As long as you're not trying to bury anything.

[Feelings, she means, since she worries that Ahiru tries to ignore any negative feelings.]

[A pause.]

No, I'm not.

[And it's true enough; she's just trying not let it bury her.]

Um, thank you for listening. I don't want to keep you up! You must be tired.

(no subject)

controlledvariable - 2014-01-14 11:36 (UTC) - Expand