controlledvariable | exsilium; ic inbox

[Something about that stings a little, but she's not entirely sure why, so she tries to ignore.]

I'm not painting a target on myself, but that isn't suddenly gonna make the world safe, and I'd rather not get caught off guard.

[he shakes his head and reaches out, pushes a piece of her hair behind her ear. peter knows when to give up. he's never going to understand steph's need for responsibility and control.]

Gonna give yourself grey hair and an ulcer.

[gonna give them to other people too.]

I'm gonna quit one day.

[It's an admission, and it sounds like one, especially when Steph realizes what she's said and ducks her head like that might hide it.

She tries not to think about the future too much, vigilantes have short lifespans, and she's definitely never told anyone that she'll give it up.]

Yeah?

[it's a question, but not a skeptical one. he's surprised, because she's always talked about it kind of fatalistically before, as though this is what she is and she intends to be it until it catches up with her.]

If it doesn't kill me first.

[Normally there might be a smile there, to make a joke of it, but now she just shrugs and tilts her head towards where he touched her hair, like she's belatedly leaning into it.]

But I don't think I can do this forever.

[She's not even sure if she actually could retire, or if she'd just feel too guilty, but she hopes she could.]

That's the thing, innit?

[he scratches under the right side of his chin.]

Nobody can do anything forever. Not that we get forever in the first place.