controlledvariable | exsilium; ic inbox

Will she be willing to give a try?

I dunno, but I can talk to her about it. And it might be good to get her away from things for a while anyway.

[She figures it's implied that going off somewhere to fuck Jesse doesn't count as getting away from things.]

I'd appreciate that. [Mike knows Skyler as well as anyone else, but it's from surveillance, not actually speaking with her. And even if he could provide some advice, it'd be better coming from Stephanie]

I'll handle talking to the kid. Maybe drag his dumb ass on a mission while I'm at it to get him away, too.

I think we all would.

[If Skyler can get some help and stop being so... everything, they might have more luck handling Walter.

Not that she doesn't want Skyler to be happier for Skyler's sake, it's just that making sure Walter doesn't hurt anyone has to come first.]

You're probably the only one that can talk sense into him. [a beat, and her hand goes through her hair again.

A little sadly:] I keep waiting for Saul to give up.

[Saul said the same thing to him. He can't help but be a little amused, that everyone thinks he can get through to Jesse. He even thinks it - or hopes it, more like.

He quirks a wry grin though, and picks up his coffee]

He won't. The kid's a pain in the ass, but no one'll give up on him. Not anyone who really gives a damn.

You didn't see him after Jesse tried to kill himself.

[Steph did, and it broke her heart.]

[Mike heard about that. And looking back on his own experience with Jesse's self-destruction, he understands how Saul must've felt. He didn't give much of a damn back then, but he does now]

No, I didn't.

It was pretty bad.

[That's a fucking understatement.]

Pretty sure Jesse did it just to fuck with him, too.

[Between what Jesse said about making sure he was real sorry, and Saul's own assessment of the situation, she's drawn a few conclusions of her own.]

I can only imagine.

[he takes a long drink of his coffee. He has his own thoughts, both from experience and what he's heard here. Seen Jesse at numerous low points, both before he really knew the kid and after]

He's pretty good at trying to push people away.

[She starts idly sketching on one of the forms, something to keep her hands busy as she thinks and talks.

What she ends up drawing is Vanadi's mask; she misses him a lot.]

That's all he did the first few times I talked to him. Didn't really have a pleasant interaction until after Walter left, the first time.

[And even that had it's ups and downs.]

I can't say I'm surprised by that, either.

[Mike leans back in his chair, looking down into his coffee. It tasted like crap, but he was used to that. All coffee mass-produced like this was crap]

All he did was piss me off while we were on a job together - our first one. I actually ended up yelling at him, I was so mad.

[She laughs, but there's not much humour in it.]

Was he the same back then?

[She's just curious, there's no real motivation behind it.]

If you mean, was he a little shithead back then like he is now, then yeah, he is.

[oddly enough, the insult comes out more fond than it should]

But there's something different, too. Whatever happened after I left, and what happened here and wherever else he's been changed him a little.

[She meant more the latter.

She meant if he was as broken then as he is now, but she's not sure how to put that into words.

(The mask she's drawing gets the rest of Vanadi added, only his sharp-toothed smile visible beneath the mask.)]

This place tends to change people, I'm not surprised it's happened to Jesse, too.

[It's definitely happened to her.]

Do you think he's better or worse?

[oh, Mike meant that part too. It's all encompassed into that "little shithead" comment. Not that Mike will say that.

Better or worse, though . . . he doesn't know. And that bothers him, more than he thought it did]

He's got more than just me and Saul here. I'd like to think that maybe he's a little better.

Lisbeth's good for him, I think. She could help more if he didn't keep her at arm's length.

[She knows why he does it; Jesse Pinkman is a poison, dangerous to anyone who cares about him. But maybe what he needs is to find a way to stop being a poison, instead of pushing everyone away in the interest of protecting them.]

He's got a bad habit of doing that. She isn't the first who could be good for him, and he doesn't let her in.

[She wishes Tim were here, suddenly; not for the comfort of his presence, but just so she could thank him. For being good for her, for being gentle and unassuming enough that she wanted to let him in.

(With Vanadi done, she draws a little robin in flight, similar to her tattoos.)]

It's really a shame you can't smack sense into people.

[that makes Mike laugh, albeit briefly]

If only. We wouldn't be having this conversation if that worked.

I think all of life would be a little different if that worked.

[She smiles for a second, then sighs, adding a bat beside the robin.]

We need to make sure Walter doesn't have any reason to get all...

[a wave of her hand, Mike will get what she means.]

Crazy? Heisenberg? [yeah, he knows]

If the two idiots going off and doing whatever the hell they want isn't a reason, then we're damn lucky.

You think there's a way to diffuse that?

[She isn't sure if there is, but maybe Mike has something.]

Guys like him, it's usually ego, right? We just gotta find a way to appeal to that.

Oh, it's definitely ego. But I don't know how to appeal to him.

[or rather, he doesn't want to. Fuck that shit, let someone else do it]

[It was the same with her dad, but Steph never found herself in a situation where that was necessary. He hated her too much.]

I can think of a couple ways, but I'm not letting him anywhere near Skyler.

I don't think any of us are. He won't be too happy about that.

[but another thought occurs to him, and he sits up in his chair]

Do you have any bugs on him?

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