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controlledvariable) wrote2014-02-02 07:59 pm
controlledvariable) wrote2014-02-02 07:59 pm
exsilium; ic inbox
text | audio | video
text | audio | video
[can she opt out...]
that's fine.
it might take a little while to wrangle everyone, considering the current circumstances, but i'll start asking around and see if we can't organize something
that's fine.
it might take a little while to wrangle everyone, considering the current circumstances, but i'll start asking around and see if we can't organize something
What he did was equivalent to blinding someone, Ellie.
[It's the metaphor that worked with Jesse, maybe it'll work for Ellie, too, another person who isn't from a world with powers.]
It's like what was done to me, but permanent, if he decides to make it permanent.
[She couldn't say that to Jesse, he wouldn't forgive himself.]
[It's the metaphor that worked with Jesse, maybe it'll work for Ellie, too, another person who isn't from a world with powers.]
It's like what was done to me, but permanent, if he decides to make it permanent.
[She couldn't say that to Jesse, he wouldn't forgive himself.]
[After this, there's a lot of thinking he has to do. He supposes he owes Steph an apology for snapping at her on the network- now that he knows the whole story, it's easier to see her guilt, to see why she acted the way she did. He doesn't want to lose her friendship over this- especially not with what he knows now.
With that being said, it takes him an hour or so to actually get around to picking up his tablet and bringing up her name. Isaac doesn't generally like bringing up his own weaknesses- so comforting someone who shares the same is sort of a big deal for him.
Still. He remembers how he felt on the floor, with Allison bleeding and Scott standing over him. Remembers the panic, the crushing anxiety, followed by the even heavier guilt. The two of them forgave him then, in a heartbeat, told him that it wasn't his fault. It's probably high time that Steph hears it too.]
hey
im sorry about yesterday
are you around to talk?
With that being said, it takes him an hour or so to actually get around to picking up his tablet and bringing up her name. Isaac doesn't generally like bringing up his own weaknesses- so comforting someone who shares the same is sort of a big deal for him.
Still. He remembers how he felt on the floor, with Allison bleeding and Scott standing over him. Remembers the panic, the crushing anxiety, followed by the even heavier guilt. The two of them forgave him then, in a heartbeat, told him that it wasn't his fault. It's probably high time that Steph hears it too.]
hey
im sorry about yesterday
are you around to talk?
Edited 2013-11-24 16:52 (UTC)
[Ellie doesn't know these people, therefore she doesn't give a fuck.]
Maybe they'll think twice about doing shit like this in the future, then.
And maybe if there wasn't a speech on the network about how evil Jesse is ["evil" is a stupid word that Ellie doesn't think applies to anyone in the real world], he would have given them back. But now there are a lot of angry people and the only leverage he has is having those powers.
[Even Ellie knows how that works. There are probably people who wouldn't just let him walk away. Not in such a confined space as the base.]
Maybe they'll think twice about doing shit like this in the future, then.
And maybe if there wasn't a speech on the network about how evil Jesse is ["evil" is a stupid word that Ellie doesn't think applies to anyone in the real world], he would have given them back. But now there are a lot of angry people and the only leverage he has is having those powers.
[Even Ellie knows how that works. There are probably people who wouldn't just let him walk away. Not in such a confined space as the base.]
it's okay, so am i
and i am, yeah. what's up?
and i am, yeah. what's up?
Edited 2013-11-25 02:29 (UTC)
I know, but--
[a sigh]
Batgirl is important, not just the symbol, but I need people to be able to trust me when I'm working. If I fuck up as Steph, that makes me less reliable, and it means people might not come to me if they need me.
[Which was half the point of tossing out the secret ID in the first place; so she was easy to get a hold of.]
[a sigh]
Batgirl is important, not just the symbol, but I need people to be able to trust me when I'm working. If I fuck up as Steph, that makes me less reliable, and it means people might not come to me if they need me.
[Which was half the point of tossing out the secret ID in the first place; so she was easy to get a hold of.]
If there was an easy fix you wouldn't have a problem. Yeah. I get it.
[and he still doesn't like it, he still doesn't think it's right. but what's the point in arguing something that can't be fixed and isn't going to change? who the hell is he to tell her that that what she's doing is right or wrong, anyway. he sighs and goes back to petting her hair.]
Still sucks.
[and he still doesn't like it, he still doesn't think it's right. but what's the point in arguing something that can't be fixed and isn't going to change? who the hell is he to tell her that that what she's doing is right or wrong, anyway. he sighs and goes back to petting her hair.]
Still sucks.
Yeah.
[It's a relief that he doesn't argue with her about it; she's tired of having to justify her decisions to people.]
Maybe I need a new costume.
[It's said like a joke, even though she's been considering it for different reasons.]
[It's a relief that he doesn't argue with her about it; she's tired of having to justify her decisions to people.]
Maybe I need a new costume.
[It's said like a joke, even though she's been considering it for different reasons.]
[he snorts softly, shakes her shoulders a little.]
Only works if nobody knows it's you, girl wonder.
Only works if nobody knows it's you, girl wonder.
That's what I mean, I'd still have Batgirl, but there could be something else as well.
[And that sounded like she's given it a bit of thought.]
[And that sounded like she's given it a bit of thought.]
Gonna take a hell of a costume change to disguise those magnificent tits.
[which isn't actually the deflection it sounds like, just his incredibly crass way of pointing out that there's only so many hottie masked heroines running around on the moon.]
[which isn't actually the deflection it sounds like, just his incredibly crass way of pointing out that there's only so many hottie masked heroines running around on the moon.]
People used to think Spoiler was a dude.
[To be fair only when she was fifteen, and before she'd been pregnant.]
[To be fair only when she was fifteen, and before she'd been pregnant.]
I'd put money down that some things have changed since then.
right um... god this is really awkward so just bear with me okay?
i kind of... figured out what happened. and you said you feel guilty when we talked but i didnt know why then but now that everything sort of makes more sense i wanted to... i dont know maybe talk about it.
i just think that... god give me a minute to think here
i kind of... figured out what happened. and you said you feel guilty when we talked but i didnt know why then but now that everything sort of makes more sense i wanted to... i dont know maybe talk about it.
i just think that... god give me a minute to think here
the last time someone locked me in a closet i almost killed someone. a friend of mine. i attacked her and she would have died if scott hadnt come and let me out. he had to hold me down until i regained control.
and it sucked. and i felt really guilty but she said she was fine. the person i attacked said it wasnt my fault and they both forgave me like that.
because sometimes when you need to get out you lose it. i... i know how it feels to not be able to breathe anymore. i know how you lose control and youll do anything to open that lid- door whatever. youre not you, youre just a trapped animal and your mind is gone.
so its stupid to blame yourself. you know and i know that youre a logical, smart person. we both know that youre more than capable. if anyone ever blames you for what happened then you just look at them and know that they have never felt the way you have
and then hit them because they're wrong. but that's beside the point
and it sucked. and i felt really guilty but she said she was fine. the person i attacked said it wasnt my fault and they both forgave me like that.
because sometimes when you need to get out you lose it. i... i know how it feels to not be able to breathe anymore. i know how you lose control and youll do anything to open that lid- door whatever. youre not you, youre just a trapped animal and your mind is gone.
so its stupid to blame yourself. you know and i know that youre a logical, smart person. we both know that youre more than capable. if anyone ever blames you for what happened then you just look at them and know that they have never felt the way you have
and then hit them because they're wrong. but that's beside the point
[Oh.
That isn't what she expected at all, even though she knew Isaac wasn't a fan of being restrained, it's still--
Of course she blames herself, because she keeps telling herself that she should have kept calm, that she should have called someone sooner instead of panicking and trying to force her way. Batgirl should be better than that.
But she forces herself to stop that train of thought for a moment and remember what she said to Sonya.
Tell me what he did to me was nothing>/i>.
And she thinks of saying what she's thinking to Isaac, telling him that it was his fault he hurt his friend, and she can't. She wouldn't, because it's not true, because he's right with everything he's saying. And she needs to stop being a hypocrite.
It's so much easier to hear from someone who gets it, not just Saul or Tempest or Ros saying it wasn't her fault. Isaac isn't just saying it to placate her or make her feel better, he's been there, he knows what it feels like, and if he's forgiven himself, so can she.]
when i was younger my dad used to lock me in the closet if i did something to piss him off.
so when i ended up in the closet i just. forgot. i forgot about everything that wasn't being back there and being scared that he'd never let me out.
i keep telling myself i should've had more control, but it's not that easy, is it? you're right, about being gone.
so um, thank you. other people have said it's not my fault but i don't think they really get it. and this made me realize i need to stop being so hard on myself. so yeah, thanks. i know this shit isn't easy to talk about, so i really appreciate it.
and i'll definitely punch the next person who says it's my fault
That isn't what she expected at all, even though she knew Isaac wasn't a fan of being restrained, it's still--
Of course she blames herself, because she keeps telling herself that she should have kept calm, that she should have called someone sooner instead of panicking and trying to force her way. Batgirl should be better than that.
But she forces herself to stop that train of thought for a moment and remember what she said to Sonya.
Tell me what he did to me was nothing>/i>.
And she thinks of saying what she's thinking to Isaac, telling him that it was his fault he hurt his friend, and she can't. She wouldn't, because it's not true, because he's right with everything he's saying. And she needs to stop being a hypocrite.
It's so much easier to hear from someone who gets it, not just Saul or Tempest or Ros saying it wasn't her fault. Isaac isn't just saying it to placate her or make her feel better, he's been there, he knows what it feels like, and if he's forgiven himself, so can she.]
when i was younger my dad used to lock me in the closet if i did something to piss him off.
so when i ended up in the closet i just. forgot. i forgot about everything that wasn't being back there and being scared that he'd never let me out.
i keep telling myself i should've had more control, but it's not that easy, is it? you're right, about being gone.
so um, thank you. other people have said it's not my fault but i don't think they really get it. and this made me realize i need to stop being so hard on myself. so yeah, thanks. i know this shit isn't easy to talk about, so i really appreciate it.
and i'll definitely punch the next person who says it's my fault
[This hits a little too close to home, and Isaac has to force himself to keep reading after the first line of her response, his jaw set tight as he reads over her writing. And it makes sense. All of it makes sense, especially when he things about Steph in that close- when he thinks about himself in the closet, in that freezer.
Isaac doesn't know how to respond. He's not really good at talking about this part of himself, but he's glad that she's receptive to what he has to say. He considers ending it there, but that would be rude, and the last thing he wants to do is start more misunderstandings.
Besides, this isn't about him at all. He doesn't have to make this about him.]
good. im glad i could help.
i get it. trust me i do. if you ever want to talk about anything im here. even if its just swapping horror stories over a beer or something, i dunno.
and if you never want to talk thats fine too. either way i get it. and uh... i dont think of you any differently either- you should know that.
Isaac doesn't know how to respond. He's not really good at talking about this part of himself, but he's glad that she's receptive to what he has to say. He considers ending it there, but that would be rude, and the last thing he wants to do is start more misunderstandings.
Besides, this isn't about him at all. He doesn't have to make this about him.]
good. im glad i could help.
i get it. trust me i do. if you ever want to talk about anything im here. even if its just swapping horror stories over a beer or something, i dunno.
and if you never want to talk thats fine too. either way i get it. and uh... i dont think of you any differently either- you should know that.
[She can guess there's a reason behind Isaac's understanding; lid is too specific not to be, but she won't push it.]
i might take you up on one of those offers one day
and thanks.
have you been doing okay, isaac? i keep meaning to check in but you know how it is
[everything keeps being horrendously fucked up.]
i might take you up on one of those offers one day
and thanks.
have you been doing okay, isaac? i keep meaning to check in but you know how it is
[everything keeps being horrendously fucked up.]
Edited (once upon a time i could type good) 2013-11-25 14:46 (UTC)
me? yeah just fine.
everything is happening to everyone else, not me. i dont have much to complain about all things considered
[Except for, you know, one of his friends being in jail because she apparently locked another friend in a closet, which puts everything in a new light and Peter doesn't know what to do and Scott isn't here and nobody will let him punch Jesse.
But again, none of those are really his problems. Except maybe the last one.]
everything is happening to everyone else, not me. i dont have much to complain about all things considered
[Except for, you know, one of his friends being in jail because she apparently locked another friend in a closet, which puts everything in a new light and Peter doesn't know what to do and Scott isn't here and nobody will let him punch Jesse.
But again, none of those are really his problems. Except maybe the last one.]
just cause it's happening to other people doesn't mean it doens't affect you
i'm here for you, too, you know? if you need to talk or not talk or puch something
i'm here for you, too, you know? if you need to talk or not talk or puch something
to tell the truth, im a little better at punching than i am at talking
but ill let you know okay?
but ill let you know okay?
same here, most of the time
yeah. you know my number, and you could probably track me down even if you forgot it, i'm sure
[werewolves???]
yeah. you know my number, and you could probably track me down even if you forgot it, i'm sure
[werewolves???]
yeah im getting better at the whole tracking thing
seriously though. do you feel any better or are you just saying that so i dont worry about you?
seriously though. do you feel any better or are you just saying that so i dont worry about you?
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