exsilium; ic inbox

[controlledvariable]

text | audio | video

Comments

[werewolfing]

[peter rests his chin against steph's temple and his hand on the back of her head.]

It's okay.

[there's nothing placating in his tone. he's not saying it to shush her, he doesn't mean that things are okay. he means crying is okay, being upset is okay, being sad and lost and overwhelmed is okay. because he's pretty sure that steph needs explicit permission to not be brave and strong and stoic for a minute.]

[controlledvariable]

[He's right, mostly, but the real reason that Steph fights the tears is because she's so fucking sick of crying. It feels like that's all she's done for the past few weeks, and it's exhausting.

She focuses on Peter's aura, that calmness lingering on the edge of her awareness. She forces herself to breathe steady and to let it wash over her; it doesn't make anything better, but it takes the edge off her distress, makes it easier to be rational.

It takes a while, long minutes of Steph just holding onto Peter as she breathes, but eventually the urge to cry passes, and she manages to loosen her grip on him.]

Sorry, I'm okay.

[And she does mean that even if maybe there's an unspoken for now tacked on the end.]

[werewolfing]

[he just stands there and lets her have as long as she needs. really, he doesn't know what else to do, of there even is anything else to do. he wonders if there's not more going on here, but it doesn't really make a difference. standing there and holding her while his weapon does its work is hardly a hardship, as things go. destiny once lectured him at length about how most men are 'fixers', desperate to solve any situation that causes a woman to be emotional. peter is not a fixer. he's got a handle on what's his problem and what isn't, what is his to fix and what isn't. when her hands relax he lightens his hold on her, but doesn't move away.]

I know you're okay, vitazajka.

[controlledvariable]

[She's just grateful that he's there. That he isn't asking for anything from her right now, because sometimes it feels like too many people need something from her. It's part of why she was drawn to Saul in the first place; it never felt like he needed her in the same way some of her friends did.

And Peter is similar, especially with the added knowledge that she likely won't have to watch his back in a fight, because generally he's smart enough to avoid them.]

If that means 'sweetheart', I swear to god...

[She actually manages to sound a little amused, huffing a laugh against Peter's skin.]

[werewolfing]

[he gives a little laugh, shaking his head.]

Hardly. I like my balls where they are. Think of it as another version of girl wonder.

[it means heroine, but peter hasn't been telling anyone what their nicknames mean, it would be unfair to start now.]

[controlledvariable]

[She bumps her nose against his jaw, almost playfully.]

I wasn't gonna hurt you for it, s'just funny that people keep calling me that.

[Two people doesn't necessarily make a lot of people, but it does when no one really uses terms of endearment with her.

She can live with a version of girl wonder, though.]

[werewolfing]

[he lets out a little laugh, turning his head so that the corner of his mouth rests against her temple for a moment as he smiles.]

Well, it's pretty accurate.

[controlledvariable]

I had to get the tablet to translate those for me, too. I know like five languages but Yiddish, Persian, and your particular Romani dialect are unfortunately not among them.

[ps suck it peter she's gonna remember what he called her and using the translate function on the tablet.]

[werewolfing]

I'm probably the only person on this whole planet who does, and I'm not fluent. The folks I found are close enough, though. Someone around here speaks Persian? Wow.

[controlledvariable]

[She tries to think of something to say to that first part, but it's just - kind of sad, that Peter might be the only person left who speaks that language. So she just leaves it, instead of trying to fumble with words, and focuses on the other part.]

Sonya does. Or at least she knows how to say 'sweetheart', I dunno how fluent she is.

[werewolfing]

[it's something peter's pretty much come to terms with. but he's certainly not the only one in the position of being the only of their kind amongst the transports, and thus in this world. if anything, he counts himself lucky that it's not obvious for him like it is for the non-humans.]

Huh. Guess that fits with her name. What languages do you know?

[controlledvariable]

The only one I'm properly fluent in is Spanish, but I can make it throught conversations in French, Russian, Chinese, and Italian. Most of 'em I know 'cause of the criminals we deal with back home, but I had to brush up on my Russian and French here. [a beat] Oh, and ASL, I'm actually pretty good at that now, thanks to Atlas.

[Even after she realized he could speak, she kept practicing her sign language because it clearly made Donny uncomfortable to speak while he was being Atlas.]

[werewolfing]

That's pretty cool. Who's Atlas?

[peter has actually seen donny in superhero mode, but they had a conversation and donny never gave him his code name.]

[controlledvariable]

One of the superheroes floating around. [Donny is gone, actually, and it seems like he sort of loosened up on the secret ID, but she'll still be careful.] Got a whole Greek theme going on, tosses fire around, doesn't talk much.

[She should probably stop holding onto Peter now that the urge to burst into tears has passed, but she's too comfortable.]

[werewolfing]

You mean Donny? I never got the superhero name. He was a pretty cool guy, though.

[peter doesn't seem to mind. it's not like she's really asking anything of him, and it's nice to just hold onto somebody.]

[controlledvariable]

[She huffs a laugh.]

I guess that answers my question about whether he gave up the secret ID.

[werewolfing]

[peter shrugs.]

There were kinda zombies at the time.

[controlledvariable]

That does tend to make a difference. I'm glad he could let it go, though.

[The secret ID, she means.

Donny's a good kid, but he needed to loosen up a little.]

[werewolfing]

I met him when he wasn't playing hero first.

[and recognized him, obviously.]

Maybe he would've kept it up if I hadn't. Seemed like a worrier.

[controlledvariable]

[She met Atlas first, she's sure, before she found Donny crying in the rain.

It feels like a lifetime ago.]

I think he's the most anxious person I've ever met.

[But she sounds fond, at least.]

He went home a couple weeks ago.

[werewolfing]

Yeah, I saw that post.

[he gives another little shrug.]

Somebody did a number on him. Or a bunch of somebodies, whatever. People can be dicks.

[there's no particular sympathy in the statement, just understanding. peter doesn't feel sorry for donny, but he does kinda get why he's the way he is.]

[controlledvariable]

[She knows the answer to that, but it's not her place to talk about it, especially not when she always seemed to make things worse whenever she talked to Donny about family.]

I think the whole world kinda did a number on him.

[Which is true, as well.

But she doesn't really want to talk about Donny, and she thinks she might've overstayed her welcome with the hug, so she draws back with a wry smile.]

And I think I promised you tea that never happened.

[She doesn't even remember hearing the kettle boil.]

[werewolfing]

[peter lets her go without comment, steps back and leans against the counter.]

You did, yeah.

[controlledvariable]

[The smile she gives him is soft and warm and thankful, because she's not great with words, but she hopes he'll get how much it means to her, that he's here, that he always seems to know the best way to make her feel better.

He can't actually solve her problems, but she feels a little more capable of coping with it herself.]

Green or black?

[tea]

[werewolfing]

[it is, honestly, a really strange place for peter to be. he's made it seventeen years and some without ever having the experience of anyone being grateful for him in this way, without having made a difference in the lives of anyone not related to him. when he told steph that needing people has been the theme of his past six months, he was being quite literal--before then, people had never needed him and he'd only ever needed his family. now things are so much more complicated. it's fortunate that steph doesn't expect or need much more from him than showing up and maybe actually stating his opinion instead of just keeping his mouth shut.]

Black.