controlledvariable | exsilium; ic inbox

[peter shrugs.]

There were kinda zombies at the time.

That does tend to make a difference. I'm glad he could let it go, though.

[The secret ID, she means.

Donny's a good kid, but he needed to loosen up a little.]

I met him when he wasn't playing hero first.

[and recognized him, obviously.]

Maybe he would've kept it up if I hadn't. Seemed like a worrier.

[She met Atlas first, she's sure, before she found Donny crying in the rain.

It feels like a lifetime ago.]

I think he's the most anxious person I've ever met.

[But she sounds fond, at least.]

He went home a couple weeks ago.

Yeah, I saw that post.

[he gives another little shrug.]

Somebody did a number on him. Or a bunch of somebodies, whatever. People can be dicks.

[there's no particular sympathy in the statement, just understanding. peter doesn't feel sorry for donny, but he does kinda get why he's the way he is.]

[She knows the answer to that, but it's not her place to talk about it, especially not when she always seemed to make things worse whenever she talked to Donny about family.]

I think the whole world kinda did a number on him.

[Which is true, as well.

But she doesn't really want to talk about Donny, and she thinks she might've overstayed her welcome with the hug, so she draws back with a wry smile.]

And I think I promised you tea that never happened.

[She doesn't even remember hearing the kettle boil.]

[peter lets her go without comment, steps back and leans against the counter.]

You did, yeah.

[The smile she gives him is soft and warm and thankful, because she's not great with words, but she hopes he'll get how much it means to her, that he's here, that he always seems to know the best way to make her feel better.

He can't actually solve her problems, but she feels a little more capable of coping with it herself.]

Green or black?

[tea]

[it is, honestly, a really strange place for peter to be. he's made it seventeen years and some without ever having the experience of anyone being grateful for him in this way, without having made a difference in the lives of anyone not related to him. when he told steph that needing people has been the theme of his past six months, he was being quite literal--before then, people had never needed him and he'd only ever needed his family. now things are so much more complicated. it's fortunate that steph doesn't expect or need much more from him than showing up and maybe actually stating his opinion instead of just keeping his mouth shut.]

Black.

[Focusing on the tea gives her time to put all her thoughts back into order. Mostly she just needs to ignore the urge to tell him that Jesse's dead, because she wants to - talk about, she wants someone to tell her it's okay to feel relieved, that it's okay to miss him at the same time.

But she knows it's best to keep it quiet, it's not right to spread the circumstances of Jesse's death, and Saul would be upset if she told people who aren't involved.

So she just doesn't say anything while she makes the tea (english breakfast for Peter, jasmine for herself), not trusting herself to not do something stupid like blurt it out. By the time she's done, she feels a little more capable of keeping it to herself.]

There's milk in the fridge and sugar - somewhere, if you want.

[Ellie used to fuss about doing her own milk for her tea so Steph's gotten used to letting people do their own.]

[peter's mind is quieter, just watching steph go about the business of making tea. there's that charge in the air that means something's not being said, but if it's not being said there's probably a reason and peter tries to keep his nose out of what hasn't been made his business. he's not sure when steph herself became his business. that was an accident. he seems to be having a lot of accidents like that in exsilium. more than he ever did before, at least.

but watching steph make tea is kind of like watching lynda make tea, the same sort of habit-made-ritual in the thing, not quite just plonking teabags into cups and pouring water over them.]

Just sugar. You want milk?

[he levers himself upright from his lean and begins searching the counters and then the cabinets for said sugar.]

Nah, not with jasmine tea.

[Saul is kind of fussy, so the sugar turns out to be in a cabinet with similar foodstuffs despite the fact Steph tends to leave it out for her coffee. One day she'll actually remember where it lives.

At least she knows where the spoons are, so she grabs one for Peter while he searches]

[that at least makes it easy to find! peter dumps a heaping spoonful of sugar into his tea and gives it a stir. if she's left him the teabag he'll let it oversteep a bit, so it's strong and sweet.]

Jasmine, like the flowers? It smells nice.

Yeah, I'm not sure when I turned into someone who drinks tea, but it's not the worst fate.

[She generally prefers coffee still, but someimes it's nice to have something that isn't full of caffeine.

Sometimes.]

If they had honey around here it'd be pretty good. Drink coffee all the time and you'll burn a hole in your stomach, or at least that's what Lynda likes to tell me.

If that's true I'd probably be dead already, considering the amount of coffee I drink.

[it's a ridiculous amount of coffee]

Too much blood in your caffeine system?

What can I say?

[kanyeshrug

but more seriously:]

You boys still doing okay where you're set up?

Yeah, we're okay. We've got solar so there's heat and hot water, and a space heater on top of that from whoever went on missions. Plenty of blankets and stuff. And Tempest landed us approximately a fuckton of mammoth meat, so we're set for trading for a bit, and the folks who let us in are pretty stoked.

[even if they only run the heat when they're awake and the bathtub is in the kitchen because that's where the hot water is and their furniture at the moment consists of a mattress on the floor and a couch probably as old as either of them, peter's pretty satisfied with what they've set up, especially since their trading debts are pretty much paid.]

...speaking of which, want some mammoth meat?

[She's smiling at first, glad that they've settled in and are safe and warm, but the question gets a laugh.]

I can't say no to that, feeding four of us is pretty expensive, even if Ahiru's vegetarian. [It just means Steph and Saul have had to consider what they cook to make sure Ahiru's still getting plenty of protein.]

Three mammoths, Steph. Three.

[he shakes his head. talk about overkill.]

Finding places to store it all was an adventure. We're gonna have us a classy rug in a few weeks, though.

[which beats the hell out of bare floor.]

But yeah bring your own way to lug it home and I'll hook you up.

Who the fuck needs three mammoths?

[That is just ridiculously excessive.]

You should trade a bunch of it and go on a shopping spree or something. I can't imagine the two of you would need that much meat.

[Or, as he said, could store it.]

Will do; want anything in return, or is this an early Christmas present?

That's what I said and she just looked at me like I'm dumb.

[he shakes his head a bit. at least the entire city is an icebox.]

Paid rent and favors in mammoth, and yeah I'm working on trading some more of it for more cash-y shit that's easier to store.

[he considers this offer.]

You know what, bring me back some spices whenever you go on a mission again and we'll call it good.

[And Steph just shakes her head as well, laughing a little.]

I used to think it was excessive when Ellie would bring home an entire deer.

[And she nods for the bit about trading, glad that he'll have squared all his debts. She doesn't like owing people, and she can imagine Peter feeling similar.]

Spices it is. I'll even through some herbs in 'cause I'm nice like that.

[Stop being a little shit.]

[she's right, peter doesn't like owing people, and he's not too proud to take advantage of tempest's ridiculousness to cover his debts. he'd suggested she sell the extra first, so all's fair.]

A deer's sensible at least. Easy to freeze.

[he makes a face, reaches out and shoves her shoulder lightly.]

You're all heart, girl wonder.

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