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[controlledvariable]

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[controlledvariable]

Hey.

[If it sounds kind of muffled, it's because she's curled up on the couch with the tablet somewhere nearby.]

You saw on the network?

[It's the most likely explanation, she just doesn't know what to say.]

[5055034455]

Yeah.

[He's been watching the network like a paranoid hawk.]

[controlledvariable]

[She's quiet for a little while, just breathing.]

The Initiative let me double check. Guess they're willing to do you a favour if you say nice things about 'em.

[5055034455]

[And Saul is just as quiet, listening to her.]

They're, uh. Amicable. Sometimes.

[controlledvariable]

When you don't try to punch them?

[She tries for a light tone, but it doesn't really work.]

[5055034455]

They had it coming.

[Maybe not the guy Saul lunged at in particular, but someone had it coming.

A little.



He ducks his head and mumbles.]

Heat of the moment, yadda yadda...

[controlledvariable]

[That draws a tiny smile from her, he might not be able to see it, but maybe he can hear it in her voice.]

It's not like I can judge anyone for losing their temper.

[Considering everything she chooses to be.]

[5055034455]

[He can.

It's a little contagious.]

At least no one ran into my knife ten times.

[controlledvariable]

[Saul no.

She laughs, just quietly, before putting on a serious tone.]

There anything you wanna tell me about you and the milkman?

[5055034455]

Well, not the milkman...

[Saul don't swing that way, Steph.]

[controlledvariable]

Medusa, the milkwoman, anyone else I should know about?

[It's probably way too fucking soon for jokes like that, but she's never had a great sense of humour.]

[5055034455]

Do you want the whole list, or...? 'Cause I dunno how much time you have right now, so...

[controlledvariable]

Wow.

[That gets a proper laugh, though there's still something shaky about it, making it clear she really only just stopped crying.]

Let's hear it, I wanna see how creative you can get.

[And it's a good distraction from thinking about Ellie being back in her war.]

[5055034455]

Oh, jeez. Um.

[He sucks in a breath like he's gearing up to recite a very long list, but what he's really doing is trying not to crack up immediately.

She's either gonna laugh or kill him.]

Sonya. Sue — you know, the one with the force field powers? Max. The girl Max, I mean. Uh — oh. Don't tell Jesse, but Lisbeth's on the list. Pepper, whom I miss dearly. Helena, Barbara... Kagura's gone, too, but she was totally into me. Anne, future Queen of England...

[Need he go on?]

[controlledvariable]

[She keeps it together until Helena, at which point she can't hold back her laughter any longer. It being followed up by Babs really doesn't help.

Please hold, she's going to need a good minute to stop laughing so hard.]

[5055034455]

Hey, what's so funny?

[She's the absolute meanest.

Too bad Saul's laughter is giving his complete lack of real offense away.]

[controlledvariable]

I've got a better chance with most of them than you do.

[deal with it]

[5055034455]

[His sigh is so melodramatic.]

You're probably right.

[controlledvariable]

I know I'm right.

[There's another moment of laughter, before she goes quiet again.]

I've only told Jim. I don't know how to bring it up when there's so much else going on.

[She'd thought about telling Collette, but it'd seemed wrong to just text her about it.]

[5055034455]

[Yeah, he has no idea what to tell her, so he goes fishing in the air for something that might help. This is what he finds:]

I guess that depends on how many shoulders you need right now. Sure, things are chaotic, but I'm sure your friends would drop everything to... y'know, be there for you.

[controlledvariable]

[That's not a bad answer, even though she feels guilty for asking for help or shoulders to cry on.]

I don't think I'm ready to deal with it yet.

[5055034455]

Okay. That's fair. Give yourself time, then.

[controlledvariable]

Yeah.

[And then she's quiet again, not sure what else to say.

Except she does.]

Um. Is it okay if we don't-- [see each other for a while? but she can't actually say it.

Maybe he'll just understand.]

[5055034455]

[He doesn't want to understand, but he does.

He doesn't want it to hurt, either, but —

It's for the best. Right? Right.]

Yeah. It's okay.

[controlledvariable]

Thank you.

[a beat, and her voice sounds shaky again.]

And sorry, I just-- I love you, and I don't want to... make any decisions while I'm upset and all this is going on 'cause it's not fair to you or me and it's not--

[What? She takes a breath, rubbing at her eyes.]

It's not as real. [If she kisses him or lets him kiss her or does any other number of stupid things while she's such a mess, she might regret it, later, and she doesn't want that, not with Saul.] So I just need a little time.