[Welp, there's an uncanny similarity he wasn't quite expecting. It's probably Cassandra, he realizes. The symbols, her attitude. She'd been glad to see people, best friends, together. Ah. Very quietly,]
Were you?
[More and more he's seeing death treated as a cheapened currency. It doesn't mean what it used to. Bucky survived the fall, Steve survived the ocean ice, Coulson came back from being stabbed in the heart, and Fury took three sniper rounds to the chest and barely took a vacation.]
[It's funny, she's been dreaming about this a lot.]
Not then. My doctor faked my death and whisked me off for a vacation in Africa.
[Death has always been a cheap kind of currency for Steph; she couldn't count the number of people who've come back, but she knows she isn't important enough to be one of them, if Sionis really had managed to kill her.]
[There are a million questions he could ask, but they still barely know each other, and there's pain there, something just beneath the surface all in tatters. He'd never question her strength, it's bright and shining in her, just as much as it ever was in any soldier Steve ever served alongside, but that's no excuse to dredge up old hurts.
Just because people are strong doesn't mean they need to endure more than their share. He's seen Bucky do the same, and it never pains him less to watch.
Quietly,]
Well, if you ever want to talk about it, I've been told I'm a pretty good listener.
[She trails off and leaves it there, because she isn't sure how to talk about it, but Steve must know what Sam's job is, would know why Steph thought to talk to him, even if they didn't actually properly talk.
But she doesn't know Steve that well, just like she doesn't know Bucky that well. Which really doesn't mean much, she told Saul about having been pregnant when they barely knew each other, and she told Ellie plenty, but it's still hard.
So she just huffs out a breath, almost like a laugh.]
I've probably talked about it enough. It just seems like the universe likes throwing curve balls at me, I had to meet two friends from that time.
He is. Sam's the sort of guy you always want in your corner.
[He says that, and means it whole-heartedly. What they did, taking down Insight-- they never could have done that without Sam. There are always people willing to do the right thing if you know where to look, but in Sam's case Steve hadn't needed to look very far. The man was as decent a soul as any he's ever met.]
I'm sorry. That can't be easy.
[No empty platitudes here. If nothing else, he's a man of conviction.]
[And don't give him any crap about how he obviously sees the good in people and nothing else. He takes the good with the bad, always has. It's why he can get knocked down, and get back up. Nothing's ever all roses.]
[She hangs up without another word, and just as promised she's there a few minutes later, climbing in through the living room window because Steve didn't say she had to let herself in through the door.]
[He knows she knows he knows. He's not mad about it, or even moderately annoyed. He's just. Trying to find an equilibrium with her, because it never hurts to have more friends and he's years out of practice at it.]
audio;
Were you?
[More and more he's seeing death treated as a cheapened currency. It doesn't mean what it used to. Bucky survived the fall, Steve survived the ocean ice, Coulson came back from being stabbed in the heart, and Fury took three sniper rounds to the chest and barely took a vacation.]
audio;
Not then. My doctor faked my death and whisked me off for a vacation in Africa.
[Death has always been a cheap kind of currency for Steph; she couldn't count the number of people who've come back, but she knows she isn't important enough to be one of them, if Sionis really had managed to kill her.]
audio;
Just because people are strong doesn't mean they need to endure more than their share. He's seen Bucky do the same, and it never pains him less to watch.
Quietly,]
Well, if you ever want to talk about it, I've been told I'm a pretty good listener.
audio;
[She trails off and leaves it there, because she isn't sure how to talk about it, but Steve must know what Sam's job is, would know why Steph thought to talk to him, even if they didn't actually properly talk.
But she doesn't know Steve that well, just like she doesn't know Bucky that well. Which really doesn't mean much, she told Saul about having been pregnant when they barely knew each other, and she told Ellie plenty, but it's still hard.
So she just huffs out a breath, almost like a laugh.]
I've probably talked about it enough. It just seems like the universe likes throwing curve balls at me, I had to meet two friends from that time.
audio;
[He says that, and means it whole-heartedly. What they did, taking down Insight-- they never could have done that without Sam. There are always people willing to do the right thing if you know where to look, but in Sam's case Steve hadn't needed to look very far. The man was as decent a soul as any he's ever met.]
I'm sorry. That can't be easy.
[No empty platitudes here. If nothing else, he's a man of conviction.]
audio;
[Except it's a little hard to think of names, suddenly. There are people she trusts, but a lot of them aren't what you'd call good people.]
It is what it is. That's what I get for lying.
audio;
I'm sure you had your reasons. And whatever they were, it doesn't mean you deserve bad things because of them.
audio;
It's not bad things, you just can't get away with being an asshole.
audio;
[And don't give him any crap about how he obviously sees the good in people and nothing else. He takes the good with the bad, always has. It's why he can get knocked down, and get back up. Nothing's ever all roses.]
audio;
[Good old Sonya. Hating Steph for totally valid reasons.]
audio;
Funny thing about me, it's not so easy to change my mind once it's made up about someone.
audio;
[Now why would she know that.]
audio;
You don't say.
audio;
[haha
ha
fuck Haven]
audio;
[SLIGHTLY EXASPERATED TONE, THERE.]
audio;
[SUDDENLY SO MANY THINGS MAKE SENSE.]
audio;
It's kind of a long story. And if we're going to get into it, I'd definitely rather not tell you over these things.
[DISDAAIIIIN FOR TECHNOLOGY...]
audio;
[It's mostly just a joke, easy enough for him to brush off or turn down, but she really is curious.]
audio;
[And of course he's going to put together something to eat because his Mama didn't raise no inhospitable jerk, k.]
audio;
The spiral thing creeps me the fuck out, but at least it makes it easy to get around.
audio;
I hear that. ETA?
audio;
audio;
audio > action
[She hangs up without another word, and just as promised she's there a few minutes later, climbing in through the living room window because Steve didn't say she had to let herself in through the door.]
Sup.
action
[He knows she knows he knows. He's not mad about it, or even moderately annoyed. He's just. Trying to find an equilibrium with her, because it never hurts to have more friends and he's years out of practice at it.]
Hope you like soup.
forever
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cw: vague suicidal thoughts
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