controlledvariable | exsilium; ic inbox

I'm sure I mentioned something about sex and violence, and only one of those has been getting me into trouble lately.

[She's just... going to joke about this, apparently.

Coping mechanisms.]

[Yeah okay he's not even going to attempt to hide that sigh.]

Steph.

What?

[As if she doesn't know exactly what he's sighing about.]

It's fine. I'm fine.

[l i a r]

Really?

[Have they had this conversation before? It feels like they have. Saul shuts his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose.

Whether this has happened before or not, he at least knows this is a recurring thought: What a mess.]

Lying to a lawyer. [He clicks his tongue.] Not wise.

Superheroes don't lie.

[Which is yet another lie, but she's just going to keep being an obnoxious little shit in favour of actually dealing with her problems.

She only ever calls herself a superhero when she's making fun of herself.]

Bullshit.

[He really didn't mean to sound as annoyed as he just did. Whoops.]

[Welp.

The tone doesn't quite make her flinch, but it does give her pause.]

Sorry.

[Pause or no pause, his feathers are still ruffled.]

I might not be a superhero, but I get the whole fake identity thing, okay? Don't try to tell me that's not a lie. And don't tell me you're fine, either.

It's more an ommission of the truth. You're not obligated to tell someone everything about yourself. [She's not even sure why she's arguing this, when the whole fake identity thing is basically a lie.

Maybe it's just because she doesn't want to discuss how fine or not she might be.]

[That's cute.

Saul doesn't know why he's so bothered by this. Maybe because — ]

Yeah, except denying it when it's obvious is a little pointless, don't you think?

[So that's a pretty hypocritical statement. Whatever.]

[Why does it feel like they're having a lovers' spat?]

I'm not denying anything.

[Maybe she should just stop talking.]

Edited (too many ls) 2013-06-25 05:23 (UTC)

[~~maybe they should kiss and make up~~

what

Saul sighs again, a little less audibly this time, and presses his eyes shut. This conversation is going nowhere. He's not even sure where it was supposed to be going in the first place. He's just —

Going to focus on his breathing for a minute, before he snaps at her again for whatever stupid reason.]

[The silence leaves enough time for the guilt to settle in, and Steph realizes that she just feels more awful than when this started, and that she's really not... making things better.]

Do you-- [no, don't make it a question.] I should go before I manage to make you actually hate me.

[Even if that might be better for this whole mess, she doesn't want that.]

I'm sorry, Saul.

[And then she's just. going to hang up. And try not to cry.]

[Almost immediately:]

You don't need to worry about that.

[Typed in haste, too, since he's made the brilliant decision that he needs to go find her. His first thought is that maybe she's hanging out on the side of the building again — but no. Not his side, anyway. He swings his coat on, hops into his shoes, and stops.

Really? He's really going to try to find her? In this city, and after that whole conversation?

...might as well keep up the trend. Stupidity, right?

And this is how he finds himself heading to the roof. It's the best idea he can come up with — if she's literally hanging around the building, he'll be able to spot her from there.

Or he could just flash the Bat signal that doesn't exist but so totally should. Maybe he'll scope out a decent spot for one, instead.]

[She's not entirely sure what to do with the text, because she feels like responding to it might just make things worse in the long run, so it's ignored, her tablet tucked back in her pocket.

She'd gone to the rooftop as soon as she'd realized it was Saul contacing her, not wanting to take the call in the apartment with Jim and Ellie wandering around. And maybe she'd wanted some air, too.

At first she'd just planned to stick to the covered areas, so she hadn't bothered with anything heavier than a sweater. A sweater that's now a little soaked, since she migrated to the edge of the rooftop at some point in the conversation. At least the rain is a light drizzle, instead of a downpour.

When she hears someone come onto the roof, she turns to look over her shoulder and just - winces.

This isn't going to go well.]

[...shit.

That was too easy. Saul actually takes a step backwards when he spots her, looking very much like a deer in the headlights.

It'd probably be too awkward to just turn around and leave, right?

Because that's totally a valid concern, at the moment. Yup.

Unsure of what to say — or whether he should say anything at all — he lifts his hand in greeting.]

[Meanwhile, Steph considers how likely she'd be to die if she jumped off the side of the building without her grapple hook.

The answer is very likely, so she rises to her feet instead, the motion graceful despite the fact she looks like a sad, drenched kitten. It takes her another moment to work up the nerve, but then she's walking over to Saul, stopping once she's in front of him.]

I'm guessing you were actually looking for me and not just taking a trip up to the roof for fun?

[Meanwhile, Saul is silently freaking out. He can't help but feel like her current state is somehow his fault — it looks like she's been up here for a while. So there's the guilt, and then there's a healthy dose of panic laid neatly on top when she starts moving toward him, which leads him to shrug his coat off and practically shove it at her.

There. A barrier. She should take it.]

The first one. I just... don't want you to think I could ever hate you. And I wanted to tell you that in person, since I was pretty sure — [He gestures, indicating the lack of a tablet in her hands.]

[What is it with dudes and giving her their coats?

But she takes Saul's, since it doesn't seem like it'd be worth arguing over, draping it over her shoulders rather than putting it on properly.]

I'm sure I've heard something about never saying never, before. [But apparently she can't work up the energy to actually say it herself.

Maybe she should've just said thanks.]

[Maybe. That might not have earned her such a look, at least — but Saul can't work up the energy to appear properly upset with her, so all she gets is a halfhearted narrowing of his eyes.]

Would you stop? Seriously. You're not being fair to yourself. And — God, standing on the roof in the rain? Really?

[No, she won't stop because she's feeling miserable and she's actually indulging that for once instead of running away and pretending everything is fine.]

I can't exactly help the rain, can I? And I've been coming up to rooftops when I needed fresh air since I was like, four. So.

[So. That's it.]

[But it's so cliche.

Whatever. If this is what she wants to do...]

You want me to get you an umbrella?

[When all else fails, being a facetious little shit:]

Nah, I was planning to take a mournful stroll along the beach later and get a little more rained on. Just for dramatic effect.

[WOW.]

Yeah? Got any good eighties music to go along with that?

[Being sarcastic is so much easier in person.]

Might I suggest Phil Collins? Either from his Genesis days or solo. Both'll do the trick.

[Eighties music just makes her think of Ellie, but she manages to keep the wince off her face. Instead, she wrinkles her nose at him]

Do I look like I have Phil Collins on my iPod?

[apparently she's judging Saul for even suggesting it.]

Edited (i am good at words) 2013-06-25 12:10 (UTC)

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text/action??; womp womp

action! we're so good at this

s t a h p

you stop

you first

you're not my real dad

:(

ilu tho

yeah whatever!!

:c

no ilu too

oh ok good