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[controlledvariable]

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[5055034455]

[That sure is some stunned silence, all right.

What the hell, Steph. That actually kind of hurt. Who's not playing fair now?]

I'm asking because you just told me two things that stand in direct conflict with each other: one, you want me to kiss you again. Two, Ellie wants an, and I quote, "one hundred percent committed relationship."

[The implication there being that no, Steph can't handle whatever Ellie wants.

But Saul won't elaborate that far, because he's sure she knows what he means. More than that, though, he'd like to stop sounding so distressed before he says anything else.]

[controlledvariable]

[She feels really bad, in the wake of that silence and how Saul's voice sounds, but she doesn't know how to apologize right now.

Especially because she just wants to tell him to shut up and stop pointing out things she already knows but is trying to ignore. Instead, she runs her hands throug her hair.]

That's not even mentioning Vanadi. [It's mostly muttered to herself, and she just sounds sad, before she takes a breath and tries to force some confidence into her tone.] It's gonna be fine. I'll work it out.

[Fine might depend on who's being asked, though.]

[5055034455]

[What's he supposed to say to that? Offer help? Yeah, okay. If you need anything, Steph, I'm here —

Please.

There's the muffled sound of relocation: the quiet shuffle of his feet, the fwoomp of his body flopping backwards on the mattress. He has a headache and a half.]

I hope so. Does Vanadi know about any of this?

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Sort of. We're not-- [There's a vague handwave that she belatedly realizes Saul can't see.] I think he knew before I did, and he knew I'd pick Ellie.

[Over him, and that sounds so mean when she puts it like that, as if it's some competition.]

God, I'm an ass.

[Just.

Yup.]

[5055034455]

You're not.

[He says it automatically, but it's no less genuine for that. Then, for the sake of attempting to lighten things up:] Takes one to know one, right? So trust me, you're not.

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[There's a huff of a laugh, though it sounds more tired than anything.]

I think there's a fair few people who'd disagree with you there.

[That she's a jerk, since she sometimes manages to piss people off quite thoroughly.]

[5055034455]

Hey, c'mon.

[Reproachful, but gently so.]

What good is beating yourself up gonna do?

[controlledvariable]

Saves other people having to do it for me.

[womp womp]

[5055034455]

[Good lord.]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that doesn't really help, either.

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You'd be surprised.

[Actually... true, considering she felt better after Helena kicked the crap outta her.]

[5055034455]

Should I be worried?

[Why is he asking like he isn't already?]

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I'm sure I mentioned something about sex and violence, and only one of those has been getting me into trouble lately.

[She's just... going to joke about this, apparently.

Coping mechanisms.]

[5055034455]

[Yeah okay he's not even going to attempt to hide that sigh.]

Steph.

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What?

[As if she doesn't know exactly what he's sighing about.]

It's fine. I'm fine.

[l i a r]

[5055034455]

Really?

[Have they had this conversation before? It feels like they have. Saul shuts his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose.

Whether this has happened before or not, he at least knows this is a recurring thought: What a mess.]

Lying to a lawyer. [He clicks his tongue.] Not wise.

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Superheroes don't lie.

[Which is yet another lie, but she's just going to keep being an obnoxious little shit in favour of actually dealing with her problems.

She only ever calls herself a superhero when she's making fun of herself.]

[5055034455]

Bullshit.

[He really didn't mean to sound as annoyed as he just did. Whoops.]

[controlledvariable]

[Welp.

The tone doesn't quite make her flinch, but it does give her pause.]

Sorry.

[5055034455]

[Pause or no pause, his feathers are still ruffled.]

I might not be a superhero, but I get the whole fake identity thing, okay? Don't try to tell me that's not a lie. And don't tell me you're fine, either.

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It's more an ommission of the truth. You're not obligated to tell someone everything about yourself. [She's not even sure why she's arguing this, when the whole fake identity thing is basically a lie.

Maybe it's just because she doesn't want to discuss how fine or not she might be.]

[5055034455]

[That's cute.

Saul doesn't know why he's so bothered by this. Maybe because — ]

Yeah, except denying it when it's obvious is a little pointless, don't you think?

[So that's a pretty hypocritical statement. Whatever.]

[controlledvariable]

[Why does it feel like they're having a lovers' spat?]

I'm not denying anything.

[Maybe she should just stop talking.]

[5055034455]

[maybe they should kiss and make up

what

Saul sighs again, a little less audibly this time, and presses his eyes shut. This conversation is going nowhere. He's not even sure where it was supposed to be going in the first place. He's just —

Going to focus on his breathing for a minute, before he snaps at her again for whatever stupid reason.]

[controlledvariable]

[The silence leaves enough time for the guilt to settle in, and Steph realizes that she just feels more awful than when this started, and that she's really not... making things better.]

Do you-- [no, don't make it a question.] I should go before I manage to make you actually hate me.

[Even if that might be better for this whole mess, she doesn't want that.]

I'm sorry, Saul.

[And then she's just. going to hang up. And try not to cry.]

text/action??; womp womp

[5055034455]

[Almost immediately:]

You don't need to worry about that.

[Typed in haste, too, since he's made the brilliant decision that he needs to go find her. His first thought is that maybe she's hanging out on the side of the building again — but no. Not his side, anyway. He swings his coat on, hops into his shoes, and stops.

Really? He's really going to try to find her? In this city, and after that whole conversation?

...might as well keep up the trend. Stupidity, right?

And this is how he finds himself heading to the roof. It's the best idea he can come up with — if she's literally hanging around the building, he'll be able to spot her from there.

Or he could just flash the Bat signal that doesn't exist but so totally should. Maybe he'll scope out a decent spot for one, instead.]