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[5055034455]

[It's not that he doesn't want to hear it; it's that he was sure that would have pissed her off, too. But it didn't. Again. And he's surprised. Again.]

No matter what, it's not gonna get easier. Especially not with this whole... situation we've found ourselves in. This mess. And I mean the collective "we" — the Transports. We're all scared. And what does fear lead to?

[He's actually asking, to see if their answers match up.]

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[That just makes her roll her eyes.]

Considering my night job, I'd never be allowed to have a relationship, with that logic.

[Assuming that fear leads to making stupid decisions and clinging to comfort.

Not that she's always scared, mind, but she's also not always scared here, so she thinks it works.]

[5055034455]

[Ah, good. She gets it. Stupidity.]

That depends on what kind of relationship you're looking for.

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I dated another vigilante for nearly two years back home. I can handle... whatever Ellie wants.

[This is a weird conversation.]

[5055034455]

[Yes.

And Saul has no idea why he's still involved in it.]

You sure about that?

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Are you asking 'cause you actually care or 'cause you want to fuck me?

[That was a lot harsher than necessary, but she's feeling defensive because she really isn't sure.]

[5055034455]

[That sure is some stunned silence, all right.

What the hell, Steph. That actually kind of hurt. Who's not playing fair now?]

I'm asking because you just told me two things that stand in direct conflict with each other: one, you want me to kiss you again. Two, Ellie wants an, and I quote, "one hundred percent committed relationship."

[The implication there being that no, Steph can't handle whatever Ellie wants.

But Saul won't elaborate that far, because he's sure she knows what he means. More than that, though, he'd like to stop sounding so distressed before he says anything else.]

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[She feels really bad, in the wake of that silence and how Saul's voice sounds, but she doesn't know how to apologize right now.

Especially because she just wants to tell him to shut up and stop pointing out things she already knows but is trying to ignore. Instead, she runs her hands throug her hair.]

That's not even mentioning Vanadi. [It's mostly muttered to herself, and she just sounds sad, before she takes a breath and tries to force some confidence into her tone.] It's gonna be fine. I'll work it out.

[Fine might depend on who's being asked, though.]

[5055034455]

[What's he supposed to say to that? Offer help? Yeah, okay. If you need anything, Steph, I'm here —

Please.

There's the muffled sound of relocation: the quiet shuffle of his feet, the fwoomp of his body flopping backwards on the mattress. He has a headache and a half.]

I hope so. Does Vanadi know about any of this?

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Sort of. We're not-- [There's a vague handwave that she belatedly realizes Saul can't see.] I think he knew before I did, and he knew I'd pick Ellie.

[Over him, and that sounds so mean when she puts it like that, as if it's some competition.]

God, I'm an ass.

[Just.

Yup.]

[5055034455]

You're not.

[He says it automatically, but it's no less genuine for that. Then, for the sake of attempting to lighten things up:] Takes one to know one, right? So trust me, you're not.

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[There's a huff of a laugh, though it sounds more tired than anything.]

I think there's a fair few people who'd disagree with you there.

[That she's a jerk, since she sometimes manages to piss people off quite thoroughly.]

[5055034455]

Hey, c'mon.

[Reproachful, but gently so.]

What good is beating yourself up gonna do?

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Saves other people having to do it for me.

[womp womp]

[5055034455]

[Good lord.]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that doesn't really help, either.

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You'd be surprised.

[Actually... true, considering she felt better after Helena kicked the crap outta her.]

[5055034455]

Should I be worried?

[Why is he asking like he isn't already?]

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I'm sure I mentioned something about sex and violence, and only one of those has been getting me into trouble lately.

[She's just... going to joke about this, apparently.

Coping mechanisms.]

[5055034455]

[Yeah okay he's not even going to attempt to hide that sigh.]

Steph.

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What?

[As if she doesn't know exactly what he's sighing about.]

It's fine. I'm fine.

[l i a r]

[5055034455]

Really?

[Have they had this conversation before? It feels like they have. Saul shuts his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose.

Whether this has happened before or not, he at least knows this is a recurring thought: What a mess.]

Lying to a lawyer. [He clicks his tongue.] Not wise.

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Superheroes don't lie.

[Which is yet another lie, but she's just going to keep being an obnoxious little shit in favour of actually dealing with her problems.

She only ever calls herself a superhero when she's making fun of herself.]

[5055034455]

Bullshit.

[He really didn't mean to sound as annoyed as he just did. Whoops.]

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[Welp.

The tone doesn't quite make her flinch, but it does give her pause.]

Sorry.

[5055034455]

[Pause or no pause, his feathers are still ruffled.]

I might not be a superhero, but I get the whole fake identity thing, okay? Don't try to tell me that's not a lie. And don't tell me you're fine, either.